Talk Time

I have not been able to update this blog for many reasons but I am glad that things are falling back as expected in our vanilla life so I should find more time and motivation to write here. But do not count on it... lol

Mistress's health is getting better. She still has to see the specialist but She is on the road to recovery. I am happy about that. I am feeling much better too and best of all we finally received the good news related to very important issue that could affect us as a couple greatly. That freed us form a lot of stress. Mistress is very happy about the decision in our favor and I had been excited too as it would be greatly benefit my career as well. Eventually, we had been spending a lot of time together as usual and celebrating. Mistress is having her time off from job in the coming weekend so I am excited to have my Mistress at home with me for whole week. I wonder how much my ass is gona like that. :P Because we will have time to try all the kinky stuff we could do. We are planning to go for a little road trip and spend some playful time at home too. She has the plan as always and I have heard a little about it. I will know. She just likes to keep me guessing.

Mistress had serious talk with me about our lifestyle yesterday, my everyday routine and other things. Yesterday, She noticed that I have not been as prompt with Her commands as She was expecting. Of course, I did not even notice or expected that She would get such an idea. I think that I was doing pretty well. Something that really ticked Her off was when She asked me to go get naked in the room while I was holding Her, being all lovey dovey and said, "Oh Mistress we will play later" I kissed Her many times. I could see the change in the look at Her face already. She has been concerned that since She had not been doing sessions regularly because of health and other issues perhaps it is affecting how I feel about our lifestyle and Her. As You might have read in my Mistress's blog, She does not use spanking or flogging as punishment anymore but I knew something was wrong more than usual as I spent sometime alone in the corner where She asked me to stay facing the wall, kneeling high. Yes, I know. I am not a kid but it was perfect time for me to show my obedience which was the reason I was in the trouble in the first place. I felt how vulnerable I was emotionally and that started to change the frame of my mind I was in already. I believe that the feelings are very similar to what submissives experience during spanking or enema play. Or perhaps it was just me. I noticed that later thinking about it. One thing for sure that it helped me to put me in the frame of mind before the talk time.

I was called to Her bedroom. She made me kneel before Her while sitting at the edge of the bed and looking down at me straight in the eyes and asked if I want to serve Her. "Of course, I do Mistress." I touched Her feet, rubbed Her calves and pressed gentle kisses on Her knees very slowly. Such questions are not easy to answer I must say. My submission to my Mistress is 100% concensual. I made that choice. It is 24/7. W/we would not like it any other way. I am Her submissive first and husband second. That is how it is, that works between us and we both know that even though sometimes I am reminded. I was given months to finally decide that I choose this place at Her feet in my life as Her submissive, to support Her with Her decisions, serve Her and make Her life easier. It is an open relationship. She is free to have other partners, male or female, even though She has not yet. We have just talked about it. It may be a whole new avenue to experience and explore but we have to be ready. I can have partners too but with Her knowledge and approval. I am free to leave at any time but why would I when I wanted someone like Her all my life. I dreamed to be loved in such a way and now its a true reality. I have any idea how many submissive souls crave this out there. If not this, something similar which would be fulfilling to them. She knows that and I know that She gets emails from local submissives on regular basis. It would not be hard to replace me (She disagrees and I can understand that because She went through a lot too until W/we found each other). She is a wonderful, loving, beautiful and now experienced Mistress. Most of the submissives would agree that we have a shortage of Mistresses (with lots of common sense) . So I did realize all this during and after our talk. Something I have not mentioned or thought about much before. I had to come up with a plan. Show Her that the desire is there. Even after a year and a half, it is stronger. Mistress always tells me to "walk the walk". Many lovers especially men fall back on that. That was exactly my plan and I am sure She will notice the difference. Few decisions were made on the fly of course by Her. The previlage of all the orgasms, watching porn and bunch of other stuff I do to get off was taken away. Part of me always jumps with exciting that She is taking more control but part of me was reluctant. But She seemed quite firm and straight forward so there was little room to negotiate and who does not want to feel submissive any way when She wants me too. Oh, trust me. I do. So I was very much in even at the cost of self pleasure. I would be spending time locked in the cock cage until She decides to let me out. It is not a chastity device. We have not explored chastities yet. "Do not worry. There is a hole there. You will be able to pee." I still remember Her saying that. It has not happened yet but I know it would as She had mentioned.

I spent the Sunday with my Mistress. We visited Her sister, spent time with kids as She wanted to do that even though I was feeling like staying at home. But it turned out to be fun. I always do that. Later we went out for shopping. In the evening, I chose painting and bathing Her feet over watching a movie as She was not in the mood. I was showered with kisses and Her feet looked so pretty. I know She was very happy. Her face was glowing. Little sacrifices I made to please Her today were totally worth it. I am hoping to do better tommorrow.

I understand that Femdom Lifestyle comes in many flavours but it is stronger for U/us to hold us together in 24/7 when love, care and desire to explore each other is its foundation. Guess this is what W/we are doing and there is no right or wrong way. I wish you good luck with your explorations.