Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Far and bratty

She left me with Her thoughts as usual when She left online. Firstly, it is the matter of just few days when i will give myself to a Her completely. She is my Mistress and my Goddess and will be for 24/7 for as long as She chooses. I know She will hold me, protect me as Her precious and keep me forever while i will learn, grow and nurture as Her sub, slave and lot more. Its exciting. It is strange that i am very much looking forward to it while others would feel nervous about such a commitment. It may be because i have always had a deep desire to be owned by a strong, responsible and loving dominant Woman. My luck had been kind on me and now i wear Her collar around my neck few days a week. She has choosen me as Her 24/7 live in slave. mmmm I am sure that life in Her loving Ownership will be amazing because W/we know a lot about eachother already, fell in love with eachOother for O/our unique personalities and lifesyle. It feels like a totally new and different adventure ahead and i very much wish to take it. Perhaps i am being over-excited but thats how i feel. I am looking forward to it. i have desired such a lifestyle always and now i will be in one. I am grateful to Mistress that She accepted my gift of submission and allowed me some place at Her feet, while many others like me and better are aching for it. I am honored and proud to be owned by such a wonderful Mistress. ~smiles~
Then ... yeah i know i was getting bratty in the end. Perhaps i was just taking advantage of being far and started to bug Her because i wont be later. She is funny ... ~grins~ but it was surely not a good time to mess around. i wonder if She joked about putting it on my punishment list or She was really serious. Call it testing my Mistress or whatever ... i have limited days with my Mistress online, i can do whatever i want. Otherwise, She likes me at Her feet while She talks to O/others, i may join in the conversations if She likes me to, i am doing my chores or doing Her hair, just anything else O/other than typing and sending messages to my Mistress. Trust me i enjoy it more than roleplays or trying to get the most out of mere words. i wonder what restrictions would be on me or the rules. i am doing a lot of thinking of Mistress's stuff ... lol but the funny thing is She knows what direction to steer me to and then mould me to Her pleasures to help me submit to my best ... i will be able to read Her moods and make the right choices unlike tonight. She is always firm and strict about my behaviour towards Her and She did not compromise on it even online. i was given clear directions of why and what is right behaviour. i could feel the change in Her tone even just in words online. It is not that i am not allowed to laugh with Her or joke with Her. It is about protocol, respect and dicipline which i will learn at Her feet. Real time and in flesh. i feel bad about my behaviour for that i oppologized to Her. i feel bad still and i hope She sleeps without any fears. Now i am much worried about Her too. i miss Her and wish and pray for Her health an safetly.