Submission of my desires

Today I offered my Mistress a suggestion of denying me from masterbating and orgasms until She permits one or allow me the priviledge under Her supervision. I have always been excited about this ideas as it takes a whole level of submission to give a control of Your orgasms to Her while She can have them anytime and anyway She wants. There are many reasons I wish to share with Her for submitting to Her this way. One is to explore this part of Femdom. Sometimes it can strengthen Your relationship. Also, a dee[ truth is that I have always seen my masturbation as a practice of lack of self control. Which is very true. It is common problem with men, i hope my Mistress will agree. It has affected me in many ways too. Now that I have a Mistress to look to, I strongly believe that I should submit to Her sexually as much as possible. My Mistress has been reluctant to take such deep control yet but I never pushed (and i hope i am not pushing now too) . Truely, I take it as a priviledge that She allowed me as much as orgasms as I wanted. lol so it was funny when my Mistress told me after agreeing that how much am i going to miss them now ... lol & and She has ideas to train me with it already which can be fun in its own way :) I felt aroused. Since that time I have been excited with new level of submission i will be put to. I am aroused, sexually frustrated but very submissive to Her at the same time. I know I will go to bed with Her thoughts like always but to have a release I need Her command, perhaps I will have to earn it.... the exicitation and curiousity is surprising in its own way. At the same time it will give Her more control of my mind and body. I feel like I have my thoughts set on Her now and I have all the focus on Her. She is there for me and She is strong, beautiful and sexy enough to control my thoughts, my body and my sex.. which She is. Because She is the Owner and i am owned. I will be looking to Her for my sexual needs, not to myself or anyone else. I enjoyed it much more when She asked me to do it and inquired about it. I strongly believe that sex is for woman's pleasure, Her pleasure. When a man starts to think about himself selfishly, he starts loosing the respect and affection for his Lady. It affects the relationship. I have been masterbating for self pleasure all my life except last few days when She wanted me to do my Homework. Of course i enjoyed it but the reason She allowed me that was the training. I must confess that I have no problem with pleasing Her with Her dildo if She chooses. She still owns me and She can train me to be used in that way too. I need more self control. I will not compromise Her pleasures and I get mine in different ways. Its by worshipping Her, feeling the role reversal as She has trained me with anal use which pleases Her, spanking, oral worship and many others. I even earned a treat of massage from Her which shows how much She is pleased with me when i am Her slave and She is my Mistress. It rarely happens and it shows one example of how kind She is. As a result i love being submissive at the same time. I am trained well to know the rule that in the end, it is Her choice which is final and its Her pleasure which is most important. I feel I have practiced it and I practice it with all my heart. The results have been fabulous. My Mistress is very happy. It helps Her improve Her self image,confidence and love me more while She owns me. Which in turn, makes me happy and proud of Her. So I believe that it will not affect Her pleasures at all. She owns me all and She can use me anytime She likes. I know my Mistressenjoys oral service lot more than using me. Many women do and it is hard for men to accept. I take Her as my Goddess and I accept it with pride. It is also common with men as I have researched that they start to loose focus on their women by masterbating and self pleasure. This is one reason I offered Her to control me sexually too. How many men would let go of their selfish sexual needs for their Women ? I will and i will with pride. It is simply a new level of submission that I always wished to explore. Her touch already does wonders to me which makes me want Her more rather than using my own but only when She pleases. It can be done by taking in control how many times I have an orgasm, why,where, when and how ? She makes the choices. It can be 12 times a week or 1 month, I care less for the numbers but of Her choice, it can on pre-set day or anyday for a surprise, it can be a reward or simply Her command to have an orgasm for Her viewing pleasures, but i wish to share it with Her and only for Her. It will enhance my self control, my submission and my ability to obey Her orders. I will learn to communicate and no lie and offer myself to Her if i disobey for any consequences. That means more responsiblity on my part too. Also, it will keep me active and submissive to Her because it makes You lazy if You cum irresponsibily. It will not be easy for both of U/us but I trust Her control, my love and submission to Her. Lastly, I wish to explore with Her that how effects it me, Her and O/our relationship and if it does positively, She will help me grow as Her perfect loving and worshipful spirit. :) I hope these reasons will help my Lady to make the final decision. I would love to discuss it with Her when i will be at Her feet and to hear Her views.
I pray for Her happiness and may i become the person She always wanted to keep.
Her lover,
{spirit}Kika

I am just adding some part of the research that i had done for some weeks before suggesting this for Her final decision. If Mistress wishes i will offer more links and come up with more information for Her.


Q. I am a young and vibrant male. I have introduced my wife to Female Domination and I am happy to say that she loves it. She has incorporated most of your teachings into our marriage. It has done wonders for her self-image and has improved our marriage. I submit to all her demands but there is one area that I do not enjoy, and that is being denied orgasms. I get one about once a week but I would really like more. She is unwilling to compromise in this area. My question is, does orgasm denial have to be incorporated in a FemDom relationship?

A. There are no fast rules of do's and don'ts in a FemDom relationship. Each couple must find what works best for them. However, it is my opinion that if a woman wants to train her man to be more obedient and a more willing servant, than she needs to monitor and limit his orgasms. What that limit consists of will be up to the woman to decide based on the behavioral patterns of her man.
Orgasm denial means different things to different couples. If a man would have his way, he would be allowed sexual release multiple times a day. That is not a good idea if a woman wants him to be attentive to her needs. So if a man wants to have an orgasm every night but his wife denies him what he wants and limits him to one a week, then that is considered orgasm denial. There are women who deny their men longer and limit them to one orgasm every ten days to two weeks. There are women like me who think one or two orgasms a month is sufficient for a man in order to keep his plumbing cleaned and his desire to serve at a maximum level. There are even those couples where the woman demands permanent denial and utilizes occasional prostate milkings instead.
On the other end of the spectrum, some women go in the opposite direction and use depletion as a method to train their man. Depletion is when a woman forces her man to have too many orgasms so that he actually comes to despise them and he finds each orgasm difficult to achieve. This is usually done as a form of humiliation and will only work if the man is more trainable when he is humiliated. The goal of depletion is to make the man weak through too many orgasms and then the woman uses his physical weakness to better control him. Personally, I find that too many orgasms makes for a lazy man and I don't want my servant to be a lazy man. But again, each couple is different as each man is different in what motivates him.
This I do know. The worst thing is a sexually satisfied man who has as many orgasms as he wants. Depletion is better than complacent but in my opinion, a sexually denied and frustrated man is a man who is easily aroused, controlled and trained by a woman. The fastest way to a man's heart may be through his stomach but the fastest way to a man's will is through his penis. A woman needs to control it in some manner if she wants to control him. The dominant female, based on what motivates her man to be attentive to her needs, must establish the best method for that control.

Q. Is the letdown that men experience after an orgasm biological or mental? Why do you think men are less inclined to be obedient after an orgasm?

A. This question ties nicely into the above question. The answer is both. The male orgasm is a biological function that causes a sexual release, which relaxes both the body and the mind. The body wants to relax or even sleep after orgasm and the last thing it wants to do is to be forced to do a physical activity. This is why men lose the desire to pleasure a woman after they have climaxed and that is why so many women are unfulfilled sexually. This is especially true if the male achieves more than one orgasm, so a woman who gives a man a blow-job followed by intercourse should not be surprised by her lack of sexual fulfillment.
If a woman decides that she is indeed going to allow her man sexual release she would be wise to forbid it until after she has been sexually fulfilled. It takes women more time to orgasm but the payoff is well worth the wait. Keeping a man aroused and denied is the greatest thing a woman can do for her own sexual fulfillment. As a man is full of passion, his energy level goes beyond his normal physical endurance. This sexual energy under the control of a woman can be channeled into her being pleasured. Then once she has been satisfied, she may permit her man sexual release or if she were really smart, she will keep him denied and he will be much more attentive to her needs both that night and in the days to come.
Men are less inclined to be obedient after orgasm because physically they are relaxed and they become lazy. They are not as easily aroused and thus their sexual drive is not as high. This is particularly true as men age. The younger man is easier to get excited again after orgasm due to his testosterone level. However, as a man ages, his testosterone level decreases and it will take him longer to become excited again. But the denied man is easily excited and aroused and thus he is easier to control by a female.
As I stated in the question above, the fastest way to a man's will is his penis and it is through the will of a man that a woman will achieve obedience. To be obedient or rebellious requires a decision and that decision is made in the human will. The sexually satisfied man cannot be as easily controlled through his sex drive but the easily aroused man who is denied is eager to obey as his sex drive is at the forefront of his psyche.

Q. Hi Ms. Elise, my wife is using orgasm control as part of my training. She routinely makes me go 1-2 months between releases. During this time we do have intercourse, only I am not permitted to cum. I am able to control myself while she rides me but the longer it has been since my last orgasm, the shorter my duration gets, and I am then forced to advise her that I am going to cum. At which point she stops and let's me recover.
Recently, after 2 months of not cuming, my wife was riding me and had an explosive orgasm, this is always the hardest time for me. After she came she just kept on riding me and was getting close to her 2nd orgasm. At this point I was near the breaking point and told her I was about to cum. She stopped riding me and said "don't you dare". That was all it took. Right as she said that I exploded. She was upset with me that I had disobeyed her order not to cum. She finished riding me to her 2nd orgasm and as punishment she then climbed up my chest and had me orally clean her. She also told me I would be going 3 months before my next orgasm.
My question is, do you know of any techniques I can use to prevent myself from cuming? I genuinely felt bad because I had failed her and put my pleasure before hers. Thanks for your time.

A. At some point, biological forces come into play so if she wants you to go two or three months without an orgasm, I would advise her not to ride you in such a forceful manner after such a long denial period. Perhaps she wants to stretch your limits to see how much self-control you can develop. I think she is doing a wonderful job in training you because you are so upset in disobeying her. She punished you and you deserved to be punished because you did disobey her. Whether it was a difficult task or not, the fact remains you were given an order and you failed. She probably enjoys punishing you every now and again and that may be why she likes to stretch your limits to such a degree.
Regardless, all you can do is give it your all in order to please her. Self-control takes mental discipline so you need to work on controlling your thoughts when she is riding you like that. Dwell on non-sexual things while she is riding you. Don't think about how wonderful it feels or how beautiful she looks or how dominant she is. If you think on these things, you will get excited and that might cause you to have an accident. That is where you failed. When she got dominant and ordered you not to climax, you lost it.
Instead, concentrate on how you want to please her by displaying self-control. It is a battle within your own mind and you need block out the pleasurable thoughts while she is being pleasured in this manner. What she is asking you to do is not easy but I suspect she gains enjoyment in giving you such a hard task to fulfill. That makes her pleasure greater and her orgasms more intense.
She could rub some numbing cream on your penis but that would take away from her mental enjoyment. She wants this task to be difficult because she wants you to develop more self-control. She wants you to prove your submission by denying your self during a pleasurable act. Again, this stimulates her mentally and makes for better orgasms for her. So my advice to you is to try harder the next time and since it is going to be three whole months, you might want to take lots of cold showers. Good luck.


http://www.elisesutton.homestead.com/orgasmdenial.html
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