Thursday, May 18, 2006

"Sweet Pea" to "Chick Pea"



Yesterday, I made two home runs
while my Mistress made three and a catch kicking out one closest to home
base. I felt very proud of Her watching Her do Her best as I am very
proud of being Hers.
She just tried to stir those subbie girl emotions like saying girly
girl or other little things to me, trying to appreciate my softer and feminine
side. Its interesting how these little things stay on my head even when
i act naive and shy before Her. She had been trying to involve me in self motivational speech while being assertive at the same time which I always like.
The brat is there of course. I wish i could just kill it but it comes
and goes. I think i have not been that bad this week.
Mistress found a new name for me .. lol ... 'chick pea' i find it very
cute and interesting at the same time. hehe .. makes me feel little and a loved one. When I asked why She
stated to call me 'chick pea'? She said that i looked like a little baby penguin chick in the movie "March of the Penguins" when I poked my head
out from the covers in bed while snuggling Her. To Her its a modified version of "sweet pea" which She used to always
call me and sometimes still does. I see it as Her taking care of me as well and being there when I need Her. The way I get all the loving
and caring from Her too. How many men allow themselves or their women allow
themselves to be treated in such a submissive manner? Sometimes its worth it to let yourself go and experience a whole bunch of emotions around that.
Where they do not have to worry about anything and they have the best advice around. Well
thats just more than being called chickpea. Its about all my other personas and mind space that She helps me to explore and accept.
There is a fear and a voice in my head that says I would become like this or that i would become as
vulnerable to others as i am to my Mistress(which i am not) and i will not enjoy that at
all when i feel the most closest to Her.
I was happy with my game yesterday though. Sometimes i just have to push
myself to be in the picture and do things. I can do them well once i am
in. i am glad to Mistress that She is very helpful in the regards.
I love Her so much and in so many different ways.

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