Gripping the Other half tight

Today I felt that She does not understand me and my things. She will not which is not a good feeling at all. Makes feel helpless as i am far from Her because W/we cant talk or She would have helped for sure. I can't talk with Her because Mistress is frustrated Herself and i might not get a good response like i called Her today to see how is She doing. She needs some time too and i am sure tommorrow is different day. I found Her upset and i was unable to make Her feel better. I even worsened the situation. :( It is breaking me now. Its frustrating me too and i am being impatient. I feel like I try but in the end, it does not matter at all. She is pleased and then She is not at all. It will never stay the same. In reality it wont but how good i am to manage and get back at my place in my submission and how patient my Mistress is with me is what matters.Let me say this for myself. W/we are one. i am Hers and i have faith in my submission and so does She. In these months, in Her love and service, i have learned that it is healthy for a submissive to feel fall short. It is not that i do not care or i would have not been even trying. Striving to do better is important. To do what and how She wants. It takes time but it can happen. I have pleased Her number of times and i can work to do better. She would see me striving and it will firm Her faith in me. I am sure my Mistress knows that so trying harder will help, like it has helped before. It is useless to whine and have poor me moments, curse myself. If i trust myself and believe in what i want and try for it, it will happen. That is what She has said always. So just thinking of stupid things wont help. This is a little exercise to get my focus back, to keep it on Her and the problems around U/us and ways to solve and to imporve my submission to Her. Its a just self help brainstorm. It is the best thing i can do right now: strive to do better.


To become the best and successful submissive to my loving Goddess:

Everyday:
1. Love Her
2. Cherish Her
3. Serve Her
4. Worship Her
5. Submit to Her
6. Obey Her
7. Bring Her happiness and comfort
8. Go out of Your way to do little things


Warning Signals:
1. Forgetting - [Keep a time planner to remember the events/appointments important to U/us]
2. Keep a cap on my temper, ego, anger [it rarely happens but dont know how, i am working on it]
3. Be careful of my tone [Doing my best]
4. Not forgetting my place [Going good yet]
5. Respecting Her loving Authority, Superiority and Dominance in all things in O/our unique relationship [Need to learn and realize it more]
6. Admit my mistakes and work to improve/offer suggestions
7. Act rather than say [damn i forgot that again]

These are small basic lists but all the important stuff. I have in my mind what i can do to accomplish specific tasks in list one. She did not experience nothing from "Everyday List" today. Yup, 1-2-3 warnings kind of happened tonight. She has all the reason to feel frustrated especially when i should be there at Her feet and i am not and other things upsetting Her. I hope She slept okay. ~sighs~ From tommorrow and on, i will make sure that at least two things happen from everyday list so that She "feels" (watches or experience) i am there, still in Her life, Her heart and at Her feet and as I make my way to be Hers forever. There is more to this week and i can do better and HEY !!!
I started to work ... it is something. When i am working i am thinking of Her. It is a way for submission to Her too. Its not where i want to be but at least a step towards my profession when i will be able to spare no effort and expanse to please my Mistress. To buy Her nice gifts as much as i want. Adorn Her with Her favourite fetish clothes, take Her to resturants so it is good that it happened this week. Lot lot more is to come :)))))
With a wishes of Her and Her spirit's happiness.