O/our Journey into D/s

Global Orgasm Day

2006-11-28T19:49:00.000-08:00

Mark December 22, 2006 on your calendars everyone! It's Global Orgasm
Day.... check out the website and the science behind the Big "O"...
make the world a better place... by getting off ...
together.... .. "Peace through Ecstacy"

http://www.globalor gasm.org/
http://noosphere. princeton. edu/

2006-11-25T23:54:00.000-08:00

CBT - The Funny Invention

There you go ! The chastity device made to the Daily Show as one of the funny invention. Would you mind the balls stretching ?

Naughty Boy

2006-10-25T15:07:00.000-07:00

The Perfect Mistress

2006-09-28T14:17:00.000-07:00

Everyone's definition of perfect Mistress is different and there is nothing wrong with that but it is important to know what would make a Mistress perfect for you? My wife is the perfect dominant for me. Not only that she is dominant sensually and sexually, she has the skills and courage to control many facets of our lives. The role of being a leader comes naturally to Her.
For almost a year, my Mistress had been very stressed because of Her (previous) job, her controlling boss and the company that was not being appreciative of Her efforts. She was not happy with it and she did not like it. Being Her submissive, I could see the struggle and frustrations that were affecting Her strong will. Its not an easy time for most submissives when their Mistress is upset or down. One feels lost but this is the time She needs him the most. Thats where my duty as a submissive came in to help Her stay up and take control of things when She was not feeling upto it. Eventually, she made some changes in Her life and some big decisions to get what She wants and deserves. She went back to school, finished Her studies and recently earned the job that she wanted, in the field that She is experienced in and at the higher position. With a bit of effort and luck, it all worked out. Not only taking control brought Her happiness, it is very fulfilling for me to see Her prosper too. This may be a very vanilla example but it shows how I see my perfect Mistress. The Mistress who knows what She likes and eagerly takes the steps to obtain and enjoy those things - in the bedroom and outside. She is my perfect Mistress and I follow and submit to Her with all my heart.

Weekend Sex

2006-09-11T00:41:00.000-07:00

I needed to be put back in my space for quite a while. Mistress and i had been unconnected for couple of days which was hard on both of us. Some vanilla situation, most particularly, my new job has been definetely affecting my moods and my submission at home. I know it is easy to say it is not but real time would do anything to take over our lifestyle if it would get a chance. Long story short, Mistress rescued our lifestyle from being eaten up once again and I played an important role of course.

I remember getting to bed on Saturday night after a serious talk between Mistress and I that how our vanilla lives are affecting our lifestyle. We both knew something needed to be changed of course. In the morning, I woke up with very submissive thoughts. Mistress usually wakes up earlier than me on weekends unless we have any plans. I was wondering if she was the computer or in the kicthen, i imagined myself before her in my submissive position, arms streched, fingers splayed in submission, heels together under my bottom and forehead on the floor. I could feel getting excited already. The series of thoughts that I can not remember right now which helped me to be eager enough to find my Mistress exactly I had imagined. I feel myself lucky that I have the oppertunity to turn my thoughts to reality with my Mistress and also that I have courage to actually do that. I approached my Mistress while she was at the computer and I kissed her many times in my submissive position. I was naked and fully exposed while she rubbed my skin, held me and ruffled my hair when i was half asleep. I told her that I love her so much and she did the same. We kissed, snuggled and in couple of minutes we had most of our day planned together. At least the most of it. First breakfast at the beach which Mistress is gona make, later she would like to see the maid to finish all the chores, position train me and take some pictures (which of course i wont be sharing on my blog .. lol) and then perhaps we will watch a movie or something. Fortunetly, the day went as we had planned.
We had a great breakfast on the beautiful sunny day, under the blue sky and at the beach. It relaxed both of us. On our way back, during the drive, i shared how I felt and how I actually imagined everything I wanted to do with her and it made me excited sexually. I shared that how I feel that she would do something to me without acutally telling her and puts me in very deep space. It also makes a perfect session. I do not keep a journal and I am not updating this journal regularly so there is definetely a communication gap between us when it comes to my submissive feelings or perhaps it went bigged if there wasn't. It helped very much.
When we got home Mistress asked me to strip and stay naked. I helped her with the laundry and we started it together.
"I would like some coffee, spirit." Oh nice that feels when she actually asks like that. Making things easier for me that what would please her. Directions are submissives best friends.
"Of course Mistress" She must have seen the glimmer in my eyes because I felt that she is upto something. I had an idea but not exactly.
"I would like my maid to serve me." She said while kinda bobbing her head because she knew I would protest as usual.
"Maid!! Mistress !! "
"Go get ready and come back to me." I sighed and went but as I had made up my mind not to make things harder for her I obeyed.
Mistress had got a maid outfit for me for sometime. I never mentioned this in my blog because it is the part of me I have be more acceptable of but I do enjoy it sometimes and Mistress totally loves it as I have wittnessed. I finished my chores in them. Cleaning the kitchen, dishes, tiding up the rooms and dusting while she stayed on the computer. It was different. I had been very drippy all that time. What I liked about that play is that there was lots to learn and there was lots of direction was involved. It was complete role reversal too and Mistress had the house all tidy up and cleaned which 'spirit' had become so reluctant to do for a while. When I was done, she denied my request to change back even though my feet were achy because of being in the heels for so long. Our play ended with an intense orgasm for her and later for me as we played later while i was dressed for her still of course.
It was different day in a very good way which both of us were looking forward to for sometime. I am happy that it was possible because of some open communication, free will to try new things on my part and great direction and looking after by Mistress, we were able to connect with each other sexually and D/slly(if its a word, lol).

Female Led Relationship Questions

2006-08-24T14:29:00.000-07:00

Questions to women in a female-led relationship:

1. Are you happy with the relationship or are you burdened by it? Do
you secretly wish your man would lead like the old days but still
treat you right?

2. How would you convince other women that female leadership is good
for them and their marriage?

3. How would you convince men that submitting to women is in their
best interest? That the control they will be giving up is the main
problem that's ruining their lives?

Questions to women not in a female-led relationship:

1. Do you wish you were? Are you afraid of rocking the boat if you
insist on having control?

2. Do you think it's a ridiculous idea that has no chance of
succeeding? Do you think that the people who promote female
leadership are dreaming? Is that because you think men will never
let that happen?

3. Do you feel qualified to lead? Do you believe your judgment,
intuition and feelings are better than men's, or do you doubt your
abilities?

Questions to men in a female-led relationship:

1. Are you ashamed of yourself? Do you sometimes ask yourself "what
have I got myself into?", or are you secure and trusting of your
lady's ability to command the ship?

2. Did the relationship meet your expectations? Disappoint? Exceed?

3. Is your stress level lower and your love life better? Do you
consider yourself a better person than you ever were as a result of
female guidance? Did your lady instill in you values that offset
your prejudices, resentment and tendency for destruction?

Questions to men not in a female-led relationship:

1. Do you wish you were, or is that something you'll never consider?
Does the very idea of female control scare you? Why?

2. What do you think you'll lose if you yield control to a woman?
Why are you holding on to these things?

3. Will you stand in the way of the female revolution? How do you
envision life under female rule in every aspect of life?

*Cross posted from a yahoo group*

Leash Training

2006-07-17T10:20:00.000-07:00

Mistress bought an iron leash to attach to my collar months ago but She had used it yet. I was not sure why and I did not question Her either. Whats the fun when you tell your Mistress and how She wants to use ? Many men especially those are in a relationship and would like it to be a "Female Led" one would expect their S.O to do certain things that they have fantasize about. Best way to go about that is to communicate your Domme and let Her know at the perfect or right time what you are into. Perfect time would be when She asks you about your fetishes and interests. It is the best time to open up and the right time would be when you feel that your Mistress is feeling comfortable in Her role and seem to be more interested in trying new things. In all that, it is important that one does not forget the main purpose of once submission which is, in most cases, is to please and make your Mistress happy. I have shared my interest in bondage and my fetish for chains. Mistress decided to use it and it was very pleasureful experience for both of us.
One afternoon, Mistress came behind me while I was using the computer and watched me work with Her arms around my neck. Gently rubbing my neck and back the way She does. Of course, She had got my attention especially after Her tongue licked teasingly my ear lobes and Her fingers brushed my nipple through my shirt.
"What is My spirit upto ?"
It took me sometime as currents of pleasure ran through my spine. My nipples are very sensitive to Her touch and they work like on and off buttons for me.
"Nothing much Mistress" It just seemed like shorest and right answer. Mistress was in a playful mood obviously. She placed Her lips on mine and between Her licks and kisses, a collar was placed around my neck. I am trained well to not to resist to feel Her collar around my neck but at such times, I am sure it would be easy for my Mistress to collar most men. I am lucky that She had chosen me.
She pulled on my collar once it was secure and kissed me forcefully. Later, pulling me off my chain and at Her feet. She looked amazing as I looked up as usual. She understood perhaps that I may not be thinking straight now, I heard a tap of Her feet to get my attention. I lowered and pressed series of gentle kisses on the smooth skin of Her foot and Her toes while She watched and whispered, "Good boy". It is then when I was having my moments where my Home is, at Her feet, I heard the metal over metal which She played with it or perhaps just gave me a hint of Her plans for the evening. Mistress has not taught me any position to put a leash on me so She lowered and grabbed a handful of my hair to pull me up. I was already a bit in my submissive state by having Her tower over me and kissing Her feet it was not really a pain to me. She was getting foreful and it was a good sign as I might see Her as Her, my Mistress. We were both about to experience the state of yin and yang which is very fulfilling to us.
I must say that "the click" of Her locking the chain to my corner and watching Her holding the other end is something I had been thinking of since that time. I always see Her as my guide, protector, trainer and teacher along with many other things She is to me so perhaps Her holding the chain signified it even better. I was not sure what side of Her I will be seeing today. It is always a surprise to me.
Mistress pulled on my chain and of course I followed. She took few steps and watched me. She smiled and nodded as I did on my knees. She grabbed Her crop and smirked looking down at me. At such times when She looks at me like this. I feel very lost. Perhaps shy. Its hard to explain. I just lowered and kissed Her foot once more. She did not miss the chance to make my bottom sting with few wacks to remind the presence of Her crop in Her hand. I wiggled my ass playfully the way She likes to watch between my moans. Mistress turned and started to walked. I got on my feet to follow Her but I was told to stay on the floor. "Did I tell You to walk spirit?" Of course I was not thinking and I was reminded with a blow on my bottom which made me squirm. She grabbed some things along the way as W/we made our way to the bedroom. I learned to keep up with Her from my submissive position as She walked. If i wont, i may be dragged. I obeyed and which was my lesson to learn. She did refer to me as Her pup and I started to feel like one. I am not sure if She is going that way but most couple's use leashes during puppy play/training sessions to feel connected in that way. Later, W/we were in the bedroom. She undressed before me which i was chained at the side of Her bedside waiting for Her. Then She pulled on my knees and directed me between Her legs and then it was my tongue and lickings that made Her scream with pleasure. She used the chain to direct me to help me worship parts of Her body.
Mistress made my fantasy come true and later used it for other purposes like dicipline or sometime where She expects the least of resistance like pulling me of the computer or bring me to bed late at night ~laughs~ We both enjoy this connection and use the leash in different ways to play and have fun.

Risks of Long Term Chastity and Orgasm Control

2006-06-10T08:58:00.000-07:00

This is a crosspost from online yahoo group. I know that many couples in D/s relationships practice chastity and orgasm control as it can have its own benefits for both submissives and their Dominants but long term chastity can be a risk and an issue especially for male submissives. The author is not a professional doctor himself but talks about his discussion with a urologist. It is important for submissives to research and consider these issues and risks before getting into such play or lifestyle. They should always discuss with their Mistress and put their concerns on the table. No sane Domme would like to harm Her submissive. It is a thought provoking read for Dommes too who may be interested in putting their submissives in chastity for long time.

*crossposted*
Some information on the potential long-term effects of male orgasm
control,
shared with me by a kink-friendly urologist with whom I've discussed
this
issue a number of times: The male anatomy has a built-in safety valve
for
an oversupply of semen: involuntary ejaculation (e.g. "wet dreams").
However there are various commercial and home-made devices to prevent
these emissions, which can be used for long-term chastity control.
There are, however, some dangers in preventing ejaculation for long
periods of time. Prostatic fluid, the major component of semen, is
continuously produced by a man's prostate gland. Unlike many of the
body's other glands, the prostate is partly muscular -- and, as we all
know,
muscles have to be exercised or else they will atrophy (shrink and
weaken).
So two of the dangers to long-term non-ejaculation are weakening of
the prostate's musculature -- which can cause difficulties in emptying
the gland's contents; and an oversupply of prostatic fluid within the
gland
-- which can lead to several problems.
Men, if you've ever had a prostate exam (and if you're over 35 and
you haven't, schedule one NOW!!), you know that the doc palpates
(feels)
the gland inside through your rectal wall. If the doc detects any
enlargement, the *first* question is going to be "When did you last
ejaculate?" BPE -- benign prostatic enlargement -- is common as men
get
older, but the prostate can also become enlarged by too-infrequent
ejaculation. This can lead to a form of prostatitis -- a painful
inflammation of the prostate, which besides being painful (in a not-
fun way!)
is harmful to the gland. Many people in the medical community believe
that too-infrequent ejaculation and the consequent "boggy" prostate is
a contributing cause of prostate cancer.
The doc I mentioned earlier told me he frequently has to "prescribe"
masturbation to older men who don't have partners for sexual outlet,
to help prevent prostate problems.
He has also treated a man who prevented himself from ejaculating for
nearly nine months (not as kink; he had some kind of obsessive mental
disorder involving delusions about sex) who developed a shitload of
problems as a result. The doc said this guy's prostate felt like a
rock
when he examined it! He also had a very painful inflammation of the
seminal vesicles -- those little tubes you can feel inside your
scrotum
when you give yourself your monthly self-exam for testicular cancer
(you ARE doing this I hope, guys!), as well as epidydymitis (sp?),
also
a painful inflammation of the in-scrotum sperm delivery system.
The doc tried to empty some of the patient's prostate by forceful
massage ("milking"), which had to be done under anasthesia because of
the pain, but he was unable to get any of the stuff out. Finally as as
last-chance attempt to avoid removing the man's prostate, he was
convinced to masturbate. When he came (screaming from the pain!) thick
clots of stiff, jellied stuff squeezed out of the head of his dick.
The doc said it looked like dirty spaghetti being extruded from a
pasta machine, and the smell was nauseating. It didn't work, either.
The man had to undergo surgery to remove his prostate and some of the
surrounding tissues, as well as a long course of therapy to treat the
inflammation in his sperm tubes, and he lost most of his sexual
function.
There are dangers to extreme chastity control for men, as the above
points out. I would suggest that *anyone* submitting to this kind of
training should secure permission to be periodically evaluated by a
urologist! Every man has different levels of tolerance for safe
periods
of non-ejaculation, so I don't think it's possible to set a standard
for
this. If you want to learn more about the potential dangers of
prolonged
non-ejaculation, *please* consult your doctor or urologist. I doubt
that any good Master would deliberately damage His property, so I
believe
permission for periodic urological evaluations is a reasonable request
if you're going to undergo chastity training.
And, lest anyone think I'm some kind of expert on kink-related
health issues -- I'm not. I feel comfortable sharing the above because
I've known this particular doc for some time, and he sees quite a few
men into kink who develop problems. (Note: he says the number-one
kink-related problem he sees is urethritis from dirty or improperly-
used
sounds and catheters, so be careful!) But as I mentioned, please see
a real doctor for specific information; I am not an authority.

thanx 'n' spanx,
t****"

Submissive's Prayer

2006-06-07T08:54:00.000-07:00

Allow me the strength to answer questions I can't fathom.
Allow me the spirit to know Her needs.
Allow me the kindness to choke back retorts.
Allow me the serenity to serve Her in peace.
Allow me the love to show Her myself.
Allow me the tenderness to comfort Her.
Allow me the light to show us the way.
Allow me the wisdom to be an asset to Her.
Let me be able to show Her each day my love of my service to Her.
Let me open myself up to completely belong to Her.
Let my eyes show Her the same respect, rather I sit at Her side, or kneel at Her feet.
Let me learn to please Her, beyond myself.
Grant me the power to give myself to Her completely.
Give me the strength to please us both.
Permit me to love myself, in loving Her.
Allow me the peace of serving Her.
For it is my greatest wish, my highest power To make her life complete, as she makes mine.

XenaLisa

2006-05-29T16:06:00.000-07:00

Mona Lisa is famous for her beautiful changing smile and eyes that continue to stare and follow you no matter in which direction you turn. We can not compare this to work done by Di Vinci but photoshop skills do deserve some credit here. Unfortunately, i am not sure who did this one as I just found the picture while browsing.

I enjoyed the look and feel of this picture very much so I am adding it here. Amazons and history around them have always facinated me and I feel Xena Lisa is doing a good job with Her presence and outfit in this picture. I enjoyed the the armor, Her look, black long hair and enigmatic smile. She very much looks like my Mistress... that is definetely one reason I loved this picture.

Personal Websites to Search BDSM Partners

2006-05-27T13:41:00.000-07:00

Having personal websites to search your Dominant or submissive partner is not a new idea but it can be very fun and effective. Following are few example sites from regular Dominants and submissives that I was able to find:
http://www.yourpossession.co.uk/me.htm A nicely designed ad free website but by looking at his yahoo profile I found that he is owned now and the site needs to be updated. Perhaps it served the purpose of finding the partner and he is busy serving his Domme.
http://www.geocities.com/kmkagent/MissK.htm Miss K seeking a polyamorous relationship with a service oriented lesbian slave. A simple page talks about her more in detail. The clubs that She is member of and Her basic requirements of submissive.
http://www.geocities.com/dungeon_seattle/RAPTOR.html Master Raptor seeking his female submissive.

Even though, the free personals like alt.com , bondage.com or collarme.com provide free services to search people in alternative lifestyle in your area, designing your own page, playing with graphics and the whole process can be fun too. Writing your needs and wants can be good excercise to put your wants and needs out in the universe. It can be one creative way to get your dominants attention. There are bunch of free hosts like blogspot.com , geocities.com or netfirms.com to start testing your creative skills and impress your partner.

"Sweet Pea" to "Chick Pea"

2006-05-18T23:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I made two home runs
while my Mistress made three and a catch kicking out one closest to home
base. I felt very proud of Her watching Her do Her best as I am very
proud of being Hers.
She just tried to stir those subbie girl emotions like saying girly
girl or other little things to me, trying to appreciate my softer and feminine
side. Its interesting how these little things stay on my head even when
i act naive and shy before Her. She had been trying to involve me in self motivational speech while being assertive at the same time which I always like.
The brat is there of course. I wish i could just kill it but it comes
and goes. I think i have not been that bad this week.
Mistress found a new name for me .. lol ... 'chick pea' i find it very
cute and interesting at the same time. hehe .. makes me feel little and a loved one. When I asked why She
stated to call me 'chick pea'? She said that i looked like a little baby penguin chick in the movie "March of the Penguins" when I poked my head
out from the covers in bed while snuggling Her. To Her its a modified version of "sweet pea" which She used to always
call me and sometimes still does. I see it as Her taking care of me as well and being there when I need Her. The way I get all the loving
and caring from Her too. How many men allow themselves or their women allow
themselves to be treated in such a submissive manner? Sometimes its worth it to let yourself go and experience a whole bunch of emotions around that.
Where they do not have to worry about anything and they have the best advice around. Well
thats just more than being called chickpea. Its about all my other personas and mind space that She helps me to explore and accept.
There is a fear and a voice in my head that says I would become like this or that i would become as
vulnerable to others as i am to my Mistress(which i am not) and i will not enjoy that at
all when i feel the most closest to Her.
I was happy with my game yesterday though. Sometimes i just have to push
myself to be in the picture and do things. I can do them well once i am
in. i am glad to Mistress that She is very helpful in the regards.
I love Her so much and in so many different ways.

Personal DNA

2006-04-10T14:15:00.000-07:00

My Personal Dna Report

Talk Time

2006-04-09T23:38:00.000-07:00

I have not been able to update this blog for many reasons but I am glad that things are falling back as expected in our vanilla life so I should find more time and motivation to write here. But do not count on it... lol

Mistress's health is getting better. She still has to see the specialist but She is on the road to recovery. I am happy about that. I am feeling much better too and best of all we finally received the good news related to very important issue that could affect us as a couple greatly. That freed us form a lot of stress. Mistress is very happy about the decision in our favor and I had been excited too as it would be greatly benefit my career as well. Eventually, we had been spending a lot of time together as usual and celebrating. Mistress is having her time off from job in the coming weekend so I am excited to have my Mistress at home with me for whole week. I wonder how much my ass is gona like that. :P Because we will have time to try all the kinky stuff we could do. We are planning to go for a little road trip and spend some playful time at home too. She has the plan as always and I have heard a little about it. I will know. She just likes to keep me guessing.

Mistress had serious talk with me about our lifestyle yesterday, my everyday routine and other things. Yesterday, She noticed that I have not been as prompt with Her commands as She was expecting. Of course, I did not even notice or expected that She would get such an idea. I think that I was doing pretty well. Something that really ticked Her off was when She asked me to go get naked in the room while I was holding Her, being all lovey dovey and said, "Oh Mistress we will play later" I kissed Her many times. I could see the change in the look at Her face already. She has been concerned that since She had not been doing sessions regularly because of health and other issues perhaps it is affecting how I feel about our lifestyle and Her. As You might have read in my Mistress's blog, She does not use spanking or flogging as punishment anymore but I knew something was wrong more than usual as I spent sometime alone in the corner where She asked me to stay facing the wall, kneeling high. Yes, I know. I am not a kid but it was perfect time for me to show my obedience which was the reason I was in the trouble in the first place. I felt how vulnerable I was emotionally and that started to change the frame of my mind I was in already. I believe that the feelings are very similar to what submissives experience during spanking or enema play. Or perhaps it was just me. I noticed that later thinking about it. One thing for sure that it helped me to put me in the frame of mind before the talk time.

I was called to Her bedroom. She made me kneel before Her while sitting at the edge of the bed and looking down at me straight in the eyes and asked if I want to serve Her. "Of course, I do Mistress." I touched Her feet, rubbed Her calves and pressed gentle kisses on Her knees very slowly. Such questions are not easy to answer I must say. My submission to my Mistress is 100% concensual. I made that choice. It is 24/7. W/we would not like it any other way. I am Her submissive first and husband second. That is how it is, that works between us and we both know that even though sometimes I am reminded. I was given months to finally decide that I choose this place at Her feet in my life as Her submissive, to support Her with Her decisions, serve Her and make Her life easier. It is an open relationship. She is free to have other partners, male or female, even though She has not yet. We have just talked about it. It may be a whole new avenue to experience and explore but we have to be ready. I can have partners too but with Her knowledge and approval. I am free to leave at any time but why would I when I wanted someone like Her all my life. I dreamed to be loved in such a way and now its a true reality. I have any idea how many submissive souls crave this out there. If not this, something similar which would be fulfilling to them. She knows that and I know that She gets emails from local submissives on regular basis. It would not be hard to replace me (She disagrees and I can understand that because She went through a lot too until W/we found each other). She is a wonderful, loving, beautiful and now experienced Mistress. Most of the submissives would agree that we have a shortage of Mistresses (with lots of common sense) . So I did realize all this during and after our talk. Something I have not mentioned or thought about much before. I had to come up with a plan. Show Her that the desire is there. Even after a year and a half, it is stronger. Mistress always tells me to "walk the walk". Many lovers especially men fall back on that. That was exactly my plan and I am sure She will notice the difference. Few decisions were made on the fly of course by Her. The previlage of all the orgasms, watching porn and bunch of other stuff I do to get off was taken away. Part of me always jumps with exciting that She is taking more control but part of me was reluctant. But She seemed quite firm and straight forward so there was little room to negotiate and who does not want to feel submissive any way when She wants me too. Oh, trust me. I do. So I was very much in even at the cost of self pleasure. I would be spending time locked in the cock cage until She decides to let me out. It is not a chastity device. We have not explored chastities yet. "Do not worry. There is a hole there. You will be able to pee." I still remember Her saying that. It has not happened yet but I know it would as She had mentioned.

I spent the Sunday with my Mistress. We visited Her sister, spent time with kids as She wanted to do that even though I was feeling like staying at home. But it turned out to be fun. I always do that. Later we went out for shopping. In the evening, I chose painting and bathing Her feet over watching a movie as She was not in the mood. I was showered with kisses and Her feet looked so pretty. I know She was very happy. Her face was glowing. Little sacrifices I made to please Her today were totally worth it. I am hoping to do better tommorrow.

I understand that Femdom Lifestyle comes in many flavours but it is stronger for U/us to hold us together in 24/7 when love, care and desire to explore each other is its foundation. Guess this is what W/we are doing and there is no right or wrong way. I wish you good luck with your explorations.

Health Issues

2006-03-30T23:20:00.000-08:00

We had not been too active in our D/s because of ups and downs in our health. I should say the "kinky" part of our lifestyle because anything that had not been going on too much is the sessions, spanking and the other things we do to have extra shot of endrophins to keep the life interesting. At the same time, it gave me the chance to care and love my Mistress when She needs the most. She had been taking care of me when I had fever and flu. I hope and pray that She gets well very soon and may I have the strength to keep Her spirits up until Mistress is feeling better.

The Cyborg Couple

2006-03-14T21:38:00.000-08:00

Weekend Scene

2006-03-08T11:54:00.000-08:00

The other day, i had one of the best scenes with my Mistress even though i was not even feeling well. I had been down with flu in last few days. I had been down with flu since last few days but My Mistress was able to take me to deep sub space which we both enjoy.It is like a state of euphoria something i find it very hard to put in words but i love to be in more and more. Mistress had mentioned that we might play on weekend so i should be mentally prepared for that but i did not know when it would happenso She took me by surprise. She just played with Her flogger, lil whip and crop. Used it on my body. I noticed the tone in
Her voice change. It is more dominating. More commanding. It is always a surprise how far She can go with everything that makes Her my Mistress. While playing She smacked me at different parts of my body where the most of the flesh is, where She knows it feels good, not too hard as well. She was gentle but stern at the same time giving me less room to resist. Oh She does not like me to resist at all. She prefers those who would just melt before Her, put themselves under Her peircing gaze,
to be used and played with as She chooses and perhaps what i exactly did. The rewards were fabulous. The pleasure was intese.
Its funny, how i think when i am in subbie position, words start to blurt out but She was expecting to see more. I felt a hard smack on my nacked ass which was already in the air "Higher..." She is such a perfectionist especially when it comes to displaying myself and my submission. She tapped my thighs apart, exposing my balls and ass more which helped to take away in a slight hint of embarrasement. You know what ... it helps. Just do what She says. I remember the times when i used to whine way more and its more fun. Then comes my favourite part when She starts to touch me and rub me like calling me to get close, make the connection, get ready to loose yourself ... I was naked of course. With nothing on. She knows how it helps me to make me more vulnerable.She was dressed i remember. She is most of the times when i am being taken, toyed with or played with. Perhaps men do look and pay attention to these little details. Submissive men do because when you with a Mistress almost everything has a meaning. She would not waste Her time to do anything for just no reason. Every word She says, Her command, movement or Her eyes, even when She looks down on You the
way it does, makes you feel something, reminds you of something and this time it was where my place was. Every little detail that i noticed and even those that i did not, turned out to be a stepping stone to where She wanted to take me. When i imagine the silkiness of Her fingers on the arch of my back, with my eyes closed, feeling Her as it runs down my spine then
to my bottom very slowly and teasingly, it even makes me shiver even now, then other hand reaching my nipple which is one of the most sensitive part of your skin- why your body won't stiffen or squirm ? While She has the command of how Her touch feels. From silk to sting which can make your skin burn and beg for more happy pain at the same time. Gosh I love Her little
games when She is playful. It is one my favourite time. Her flogging became intense. Even more. Sometimes hard, then light, perhaps little rubs in between to sooth my skin.
Encourging my every inch to release the happy fluids. "Aww, my little spirit is sweating" She whispered in my ear while rubbing the tiny beads on my skin which She could see and i was feeling now. Perhaps thats the magic of endrophins but
whatever it was, it felt amazing. I wanted more and She gave me more without fear while She would watch me offer my body to Her differently even with more eagerness. I am sure that pleases Her. She would say something. Something like "who owns you
spirit""who does this body belong to" She grabbed my balls and i could see a string of precum dripping down from my cock. She Pulled harder. Demanding a reponse because i was somewhere else. To wrapped up in little details to feel everything i could. "Good answer" She told me and then few more flogs or smacks or kisses of Her whip or perhaps Her lips.Perhaps It pleases Her to have me at Her beck and call and every inch of my body respond to Her like that. My mind as well.No wonder She was wet. She helped me to feel it, see it,smell it and witness that how much i please Her. It makes me feel awesome that we are connected together in such a way and our body reponds perfectly in these moments which are only ours. I helped me have one of the most intense orgasm. It is even more pleasureful when You are kept on a brink for a long time. I wonder how frustrating it would be if You are denied an orgasm. Many Dommes do as i have read. So i do take it as a previlage and always thank Her for such a pleasure because She may not allow me to cum or help me to cum so intensly because She can or
She has. I was cropped very hard when i came so it was interesting to find myself taking more and more pain while being close. Later, I ended up in Her arms. I felt little, very submissive, but blessed at the same time for have such a Woman in my life. I talked of few of my fears, i cried a bit, hugged and kissed Her tight. She reminded me once again that i am very
loved and cherised.I felt more submissive, more blessed. And She reminded me that this is a way to be with Her as i continued my journey in Her loving authority and dominance.

Fantasy of Every Woman

2006-02-22T00:12:00.000-08:00

"For a working mother, it's a fantasy. You come home at night to a spotless house, a gourmet meal simmering on the stove, your child's homework all done." says Kathy Slobogin of CNN.

I am quite sure that it is one of the most effective way to win the heart of most women, vanilla or other. Especially the working (strong willed) Woman like my Mistress.

The other day, Mistress said, when we were about to drift to sleep at night, "spirit! You are a good boywife." I looked to Her even though it was dark. "Who Mistress?" .. "You are a good boywife." I shoke head with a smile. The manly part of me squirmed with the sound of the word 'boywife' but deep inside i know i was very happy. "Thank You Mistress" I remember smiling in the darkness too. Such a delight to hear that from the my Mistress again. It is one of my favorites moments of course and trust me, it happens a lot. I am not talking high of myself but it is that Mistress never misses a chance to appreciate something that has pleased Her.

Man Servant, house husband or Chef at Home ! Whatever works for you but I am enjoying my time to the best of my ability when I can. Sometimes everyday chores become boring or get out of my hands but that is when the thought of making Her life a bit easier kicks in, these approval and Her smiles - all the good stuff and most of all Her many skills to help me put back on track. Mistress's place had been spotless since the first day I have met Her. That is one of the thing that is built into Her and on the other hand, she had seen my place too before I moved to Her place. It was not a good picture at all so things do get out of my hands easily but not as badly as before. Mistress's helps is always there which I appreciate. For example, like this evening: The kitchen was a mess even after my little cleaning sessions, dishes got out of hands but it is back in shape with the help of Mistress. We did dishes together. It is all clean and now the little bit of cleaning here and there is easy to take care of. I do not feel overwhelmed to not to do it at all. There is more I can do. There is always room to improve when it comes to chores around the house. Do you have any tips or suggestions ?

I must say that i am enjoying the cooking the most. I thank my Mistress to help me realize what I was missing and the skill that I thought that I never had. I hope you would find many with the help of Your Mistress/wife/gf or even on your own too especially if you wish to submit someday. Even you are not out of closet submissive yet or your wife does not approve of your submission, she would rarely mind help around the house/work in one way or another. Sometimes all it takes is to look for ideas to be more helpful to Her. To realize that you are doing it to please Her. Her approval and happiness would make you feel good. When Woman of the house can have more time for Herself and the submissive can enjoy the fullfillment of being the reason to make Her life easier, it is a win/win situation for both. It is the foundation of O/our lifestyle and a healthy relationship.

Evening Routines

2006-02-21T15:02:00.000-08:00

I must say that there is nothing like being at the feet of the Mistress and knowing that Mistress would use for Her pleasure later. The anticipation, the need and desire drives your crazy and takes you to a different level of submission. Mistress knows that I love to use my tongue on Her. Of course She does too. My licking and lapping while Her eyes are locked on my face. I know that She likes to know how good Her womanhood tastes. My eagerness, sultriness and desire to please Her. Perhaps it is the reason Mistress asked me. “Spirit this should happen more often”. Oh yes Mistress. Everyday if possible. Mmmm … I do get to cum after She uses me.
We have started something new. Usually I would serve Her something, a drink, coffee or juice. It is always good to ask. While She would browsing, talking or chatting with Her friends online I would massage Her feet. Sometimes Mistress ask me especially to be at Her feet beside Her while She is busy on the computer. It is fun time. We talk about anything that comes up. Mistress has to control of the mouse and the keys so we discuss things from the pictures we like on the computer to crazy world issues and then …. Mmmm … the fun part begins. “Oh what would you like to watch Mistress?”

They say that men are very visual. Perhaps more than Woman but I find it different with my Mistress at least. She loves to watch porn but not everything. It has to something of Her interest. For example, scenes with blowjobs will not do for Her .. no even though I do get them depending on Her mood. Cumshots totally forbidden. Anal sex .. mmm we love it. Mostly it depends on Her mood and She would just tell me and I take of the rest. I know I do it well be as it does not take long for Her to cum when I am licking Her while She is watching. Gosh ! Snap and She comes. She enjoys it. I crave it. All Her attention, Her juices, all the loving and caring I get. … mmmmm … to watch Her squirm, moan and shudder with desire. It is a great feeling that I can do that to Her. I can make Her happy and take Her to Her happy place. It is worth all the effort and I am happy that I am lucky enough to be worthy of such a privilege.

Grab me by the balls

2006-02-20T10:49:00.000-08:00

Gosh !!

Ever noticed the face of Your Mistress lightened with excitement when She talks of certain things She likes to do with You. I have. Fortunately or unfortunately, my Mistress seem to be very fond of CBT lately. I wonder if it is a good thing or a bad thing but there is a lot to explore and I am definitely open to it. She likes the toy call humbler or the way my balls in bondage. I think it can be painful but She knows a way of changing the way i feel about it. To make me want and crave Her dominant more.

Imagine holding the Woman you love so utterly in Your warmth while the silkiness of Her hand sliding down Your belly reminding You of your loving place in Her presence. She is everything to You. You tell Her without saying a word. She looks back deep in Your eyes and assures You that Yes! I am the One. Perhaps You would try to read Her face. There may be hint of mischief or seriousness of sheer Dominance when Her fingers brush along Your shaft teasingly, reaching down, She grabs you by Your manhood. She may smile or smirk but You bite the side of Your lip, startle or just look in surprise. She likes seeing how You feel. How you behave especially when She holds the most vulnerable part of Your body very tightly. She pulls, and tugs even harder until You struggle even more to not to squirm or resist. Perhaps You have pleased Her or it is just one of Her another choice. She offers Her delicate lips to You for a kiss that has to be so gentle, loving and pleasing – not a bit less than what She expects and what She deserves. She may pull more. Enjoying your squirming because She can or perhaps tingle your nipples to mix the discomfort with pleasure.Who knows what would happen next. My Mistress has Her ways of surprising me and sometimes it is the beginning of the rush because it is least expected, the beginning of deep feelings and emotions, that are W/we would share for rest of the evening.

We have not been involved in deep CBT play at all but I know how it feels like to be ‘grabbed by Your balls’ by a strong dominant Woman. She has mentioned a few times the feel and the colors of my balls when held so vulnerable in Her grip. “Mmmm …” She tells me and they beg for mercy with tiny veins of all colors of life. "Snip.." Sometimes She would say with a teasing giggle with Her fingers shaped like scissors pointing towards my balls. I would remind Her the importance of existance of my balls, giving Her all the reasons why we need them so much. "Hmm do W/we spirit? ". "Hell yeah Mistress!! gosh" We would laugh as She would tug and pull playfully. "I guess W/we do." And She toys with me more. Showing me that She can. I am happy that She has the power to “grab me by my balls” literally and then to actually get away with it, (get Her way with it too) and make me crave the feeling more.

Terminology of Submission

2006-02-20T08:54:00.000-08:00

Submission to Your lover comes in many shapes, forms and colors. I wonder how important is the terminology? - the way we try to label our feelings. Most of the times we fail as words are just not enough. I must admit that to me words, terms and the way we use them matter a lot. They can just make you feel different things. They have to have a meaning to you. Certain level of history has to be there. Since everyone is different, so are the meanings of these words.

Ever noticed the name of a dominant capped in a text. It is an issue with many but perhaps you would notice it even less now than 10 years ago when our lifestyle was not as mainstream as it is now. It may be a way of showing respect to the dominant even in the writing but for other, it may be a reason to find the text harder to read. Dominant, Owner, Mistress, husband, wife..... oh Goddess !! ... Which fires your imagination or reminds you of the history (good or bad) attached to to certain title/word ?

Certain terms and words become more important when some kind of feelings or emotions are attached to them. And the way we put them, hear them and say them. So are your slave or submissive. Or does it even matter? Only you can define, the way you feel it.

Self Talk

2006-02-17T10:56:00.000-08:00

I must admit that my Mistress has been more consistent with Her blog entries than me (which is awesome cuz i love to read Her posts) and for some reason i get into mental block as i settle before the computer when I want something to write. Last time when i started writing, i came up with a page or two of random ideas and but then i got restless in the end. The feelings of frustration took over me and I did not even care to save what i had written. What a waste of time ! I thought and then that feeling bugged me for the rest of the day. Same goes when it comes to reading other blogs. I am kinda clickaholic now. Click, click, click ... whats next ? whats new ? i find it even hard to skim now. I act funny sometimes and Mistress knows that. (perhaps your are feeling it while reading this too) No i am not locked in a device. Oh ! i am not restricted either. What did you say ? No, She is not into humiliation and humiliation does not help ? does it ? ....hmm ... which button is closer. Publish button or that big red ugly cross in the corner. I dont like corners especially I dont as a submissive. You know what I mean so I will choose to stay in the center.
Click ..

Valentine's Day

2006-02-17T10:24:00.000-08:00

This is a late entry as usual. Valentine's day is done and well taken care of. It could have been better on my part. There are always room for improvements. In short, there was no D/s play involved but actually we went out, had a romantic dinner, exchanged cards and flowers. Now another big event is coming soon. Our anniversary. Of course, i can't forget that.

Approaching/Contacting Female Domme

2006-01-20T11:03:00.000-08:00

How a Domme should be approached/contacted seems to be a huge recurring issue in this forum. MaitresseEden and LadyAngelika have put together a little tutorial to help some of you understand what some of us might be looking for.

10 Steps For Making A Good First Impression

Caveat n°1: This approach will not necessarily work for all Dommes but we feel we were open enough in our suggestions that at the very least, the Domme you contact should not accuse you of disrespect or trolling. At the very least, we would hope not. We are hoping other Dommes will contribute to this with their own advice, opinions, needs, etc.

Caveat n°2: The examples we give here should NOT be copied & pasted and used as your own. You should simply find inspiration in them. We hope you will retain the spirit in which these examples are written and personalise them to represent yourself accurately.

Sample introduction letter

Dear Lady,

I have read your profile from beginning to end, not once but twice, to ensure that I didn't overlook anything. I realize that you took the time to write your profile so that others may learn from it.

My first impression of you is that you are a woman deserving respect and only the best. That said I am sincerely hoping that through my interactions, I might show you that I am worthy of your time, affections and dominance.

I would very much like if we could get better acquainted, the how, when, where and pace I leave as your final decision. But if I may humbly propose that whatever is convenient for you, be it, emails, instant messages, chatting, phones calls, meeting for coffee, would be more than satisfactory for me. I understand fully that a lady of your stature does not make rash decisions and that I must prove myself worthy of your time. I understand that things may or may not progress at a pace of your comfort level. I humbly agree to abide by whatever attentions you wish to grant me.

If you will grant me the privilege of meeting you I promise to meet whatever requirements you may have of me. I understand that your safety is of paramount concern and will gladly respect whatever method you deem to be appropriate.

----- The rest boys & girls will vary based on what you are looking for ------

1. Be clear about what you are seeking.

- Do you want a D/s or S&M play relationship?
- Do you want a monogamous relationship and eventually perhaps a lifetime commitment?
- Are you unsure about what you seek, and will leave that to the two of you to determine?

a) If the Domme you are contacting is not looking for applications, respect this! You can write to her and tell her that you realise she isn't looking for applicants but that nonetheless you appreciate her profile and simply wanted to let her know. You can also ask her if she has time to or an interest in entertain a friendship with no strings attached. Do not be pushy! FYI: Dommes do not keep waiting lists of potentials so don't ask to be put on one. However if you are friends first she may take interest at a later date.

b) If the Domme you are contacting has stated what she is looking for and it is not what you are looking for, move to the next profile and don't try and change her mind. Nothing is more insulting then a sub who wants to convince us of something we don't want.

c) If the Domme you are contacting hasn't said what she is looking for, you might want to ask her politely in your letter of introduction. If she doesn't respond to this, you might want to just keep looking. There is no guarantee that because someone states she is a Domme that she has it all together. Use your judgement.

2. State what attracted you particularly about her profile.

This is important. If the profile attracted you, it is important that you say why. Many of us take the time to write good profiles explaining who we are and what it is that we are looking for as well as our views on life and then BDSM dynamics.

The above is critical. Do NOT limit your attraction to solely our photo. That shows that you are superficial and vain. Most Dommes know they are beautiful, but wish to be appreciated for things other than our appearances.

Here are a few examples or what you might write:

a) In reading your profile I was impressed by your comment about "such and such" and found it to raise feelings of understanding and agreement within me. It was as if we were on the same page.

b) I believe that we share a similar view of dominance & submission and I have a feeling that it goes beyond that. It would be a privilege to discuss such issues with you and explore our compatibility.

c) When you stated that you wanted a submissive who held similar non-kinky interests as you I was pleased. I am delighted to see that you share my enthusiasm for "such and such".

You should draw parallels when possible. For example, if she mentions she likes to sail, and you have a sailboat, perhaps a short description of it would be good here.

3. Be truthful about your current status and obligations.

If you are married, have kids, have personal obligations, are willing to or not willing to relocate, have religious or social obligations or have time constraints, put them all on the table from the get go. A reasonable Domme will appreciate your honesty and decide whether or not she can work within potential limitations. If you get a negative response because you tried to communicate this, then just take a deep breath and move along. (You might however want to make sure her profile doesn't say "no married men" or "only local men" or "must be willing to relocate"). Honesty will always be the best policy.

4. Be truthful about your former experience.

Be honest about what you have experienced. Don't sugar coat it. Give a certain amount of detail but don't go overboard. This is an introduction letter. Also, if your experience is limited to Pro's or online experiences say so.

5. State what it is you are willing to offer.

Before you write what you want, write what you want to offer. This isn't a D/s thing. This is simply a courtesy thing. No one wants a selfish sub that lists only his/her desires. When we get a message that starts off with "Hello Mistress, I'm a slave boy into CBT, humiliation, and love being turned into your own private whore with your strap-on" we tend to either click delete or respond with something unpleasant like "go away, do-me sub". You have to woo a Domme. Write it from the heart. List what it is you want and not what it is that you think she wants. This also includes writing about your limits.

Here are a few examples or what you might write:

a) I am happy to offer whatever services you may require in exchange for nothing other than your happiness and the personal satisfaction of knowing that I pleased you in some small way.

b) My pleasure would be to give you pleasure. I find a life of servitude rewarding. I would very much like to learn which ways I would best be able to serve you.

c) I am a masochist who would consider it a privilege to lend my body to such a woman as yourself, for your pleasure and mutual enjoyment. My limits are "such & such".

6. List your skills.

You might want to write something such as "My skills and talents lie in the areas of (cleaning, ironing, chauffeuring, handyman, etc)." You can also list the skills you wish to develop. If your skills are in your profile and you want to be succinct in your initial note, you can say something along the lines of "if it pleases you Miss, please refer to my profile to see my list of skills"

7. List your interests.

It is important that you also put a short paragraph about your vanilla interests. If it is a relationship you are seeking, chances are, you will be spending equal if not much more time outside the kink zone then in it. Deciding whether the ultimate date is going to see the ballet or a ballgame might be something you want to clear up ahead of time. Even if it is not a relationship that you are seeking, for most Dommes, we appreciate knowing that there is more then a piece of flesh to you.

8. Avoid negativity.

The title says it all but here are a few basics to check for:
- Don't put negative comments about other Dommes in your message. You are addressing a Domme you wish to impress and she doesn't particularly care about the other Dommes you've contacted.
- Don't use a jaded tone. An eager (not overly eager) and positive tone is always appreciated.
- Don't complain about how you have such a hard time finding the right Domme.

9. Revise for grammar & spelling.

When you are chatting, things can slip. Even little posts here or there. But when you are trying to put your best foot forward, isn't she worth a few extra minutes of double-checking? A message full of typos gives the impression of negligence and carelessness.

Also, many Dommes have mentioned on these boards and in other forums that they are not fond of chat lingo such as "It wood B so gr8 2 serve U Ma'am". In your first correspondence however, it might be better to assume that she won't appreciate it. If she responds to you using the lingo, then it's a good sign that it's fine. You might even want to ask her early on what her thoughts on it are.

Some Dommes Like "W/we " and online protocol others detest it. A good rule of thumb is look at how their profile is written. If it contains it, use it, if not, don't!

10. Keep your messages short or parse them to avoid them being truncated.

If you have a very heavy message, chances are it might get truncated. You may want to keep the first message relatively short (especially if your profile mentions already a lot about you). But if you feel you have a lot to say, you might want to email a Part I and Part II (note that this might turn some Dommes off). You might also want to add your other email address (yahoo, hotmail, etc) for further correspondences as the messages can run a little longer.

Every Domme is different but these guidelines should work with most and might help you find Your place without wasting each other's time. Good luck with Your search.
(crossposted from collarme.com forum)

Weekend Delights

2006-01-16T11:28:00.000-08:00

I was very happy to have my beautiful Mistress to be at Home Friday evening. I had already sent Her an email to work to let Her know how excited I was. I had been missing Her all week even though She would find me in Her arms after work but weekends are even special as I get to spend the whole day with Her. It recharges my love and submission to Her for the rest of the week. We go out, have nice walks, discuss our plans for the future, play around, flirt, romance and what not. She found me at Her feet at the entrance as usual and as expected as I greeted my Mistress with a bright smile. After sharing a quick meal we went to a local sex show with bunch of friends. I will write about it later. Mistress got me a new toy .. yay !!!

Yesterday morning as I was watching morning news Mistress showed up naked and pointed at Her feet. "To my feet spirit" She whispered as She witnessed my eagerness. I was worried if I have done something wrong as She seemed very serious but She asked me to give Her my hand and follow Her to the bedroom. "On your knees honey" As She walked in front of me while I watched Her glowing skin in the morning sun. She rested on the bed while I stayed on the floor and She looked down running Her fingers through my hair. "I expect some worship" I am sure that She must have seen a vibrant smile spread on my lips. I was not expecting that at all especially at this time as Mistress was not feeling well in the morning as She mentioned. I helped Her settled down in the bed, rubbed Her a little and massaged Her to relax. She pushed my head on the bed as my ass was exposed high in the air. I was naked of course. My member was throbbing with desire and pleasure. Her hand reached for the crop as my body could not help to squirm. My bottom must have enticed Her more and encouraged Her to use Her crop but I have not been good at stopping my body to be less responsive to Her attention anyway. "But I have been good boy Mistress ... " Like it ever works, I should have told myself but it was not the time to think but to feel Her dominance and Her loving authority. "You have been spirit" She smirked while Her felt the smoothness of Her palms rubbing my cheek. I held my breath and looked over about my shoulder. She looked so sexy holding the crop but this time She was naked too. Mostly Mistress is dressed but perhaps I was not being punished this time. My head went through stuff if there is something I have done to be displeasing. "Why are you being cropped little one" I felt the leather end of Her crop rubbing my bottom now. I moaned. "Because .. I was a bit bratty last night" She smacked one cheek hard as "Yes, You were" escaped Her lips while I felt Her crop digging in my skin with loud smacks. "and ... " She petted my balls many time with Her crop. I know if I would make Her wait, my balls were next. "Because ... " She grabbed my balls and squeezed them perhaps while aiming them perhaps. "Because You can Mistress...aa OW" My bottom burned again as She waked me few times very hard while holding my balls still. "Yes because I can, mmm" She rubbed my tinted cheeks while pulling on my balls towards Her more. "Who owns You spirit?" My cock twitched, my body squirmed with desire under Her grip. "You!! ... You do my Mistress" I knew the answer to that one and I cried hastily. My body responded under Her gaze to make it more meaningful. I opened my eyes and looked to my sexy Mistress with half closed eyes. She smacked me many times .. even harder on each cheek. "Now that is nice pink color" She admired looking at my cheeks and smiles all cute the way She does. She petted my bottom and whispered "Good boy" One of my favorite things to hear and She placed Her crop back on the table walked to the other side of the bed while my lips followed Her eagerly. I kissed Her diligently. Every inch of Her feely. My hands explored Her silk skin. I knew how privileged I was. Its been sometime since I have worshiped Her and I was so happy to be doing it now. She grabbed a handful of my hair and directed me to Her divine womanhood. She was wet already and I licked Her clean. "mmm.... tastes good spirit?" She smiled watching my lick my lips as i bobbed my head in a big yes with sparkling eyes. I was not speaking much of course. She pushed my head back between Her legs as I started to lick eagerly. "Gentle!!" She whispered with Her eyes closed with a hint of sternness in Her commanding voice. I slowed down, rubbed Her thighs and kissed Her many times with whispered loving, "I am sorry Mistress". I felt ashamed that I should have known better till now as I have used my tongue on Her so many times but She understood my desperation for Her perhaps. My tongue found Her clit again and it did not take me long to take Her to Her place where She shudders and moans with utmost pleasure. Then She allowed me inside Her. I told Her how much I love Her and need Her while looking deep in Her eyes. It was haven. I asked Her permission to cum and She allowed me one. We held each other in O/our arms after being exhausted and rubbed each other to the depths of relaxation. I thanked my Mistress for making me feel all this and taking me to places which She can only. Thats how day of our weekend began and we went out to enjoy the rest.
With loves to my Mistress.

Her Other Favourite Pet

2006-01-13T10:16:00.000-08:00

Other than me there is jazz who is in good books of Mistress. Such a good boy too as She puts it. In the evenings we are all over Mistress while She enjoys the warmth of jazzy on Her lap and my hands on on Her feet while I massage Her while watching TV,talking or reading. Jazzy and me have many things in common, perhaps that is one reason we have been great friends since the very first day we saw each other. Few of the things are like we responding to Her touch .. purrsssss.... totally love & crave Her attention and love Her to pieces. He is the friendliest kitty I have ever met and he is very important to Mistress and I love em too except a few times he can be a brat but again such a cutie.

Helpful Website

2006-01-09T00:27:00.000-08:00

One of the most effective website I have read related to our lifestyle is Ms Rika's Website.
The website deals with r/t submission to Domme. I found it very helpful to deal with everyday tasks and issues. Actually my Mistress asked me to read many articles there and I would suggest other submissives to read the website too.
One of my favourite list of things you can do for your Mistress is on this page.
I am not sure how that utility quotient works but it did give me more ideas to things I can do for my Mistress everyday and improve my domestic service to Her. I have you any more ideas please feel free to share in comments.

Infrequent Updates

2006-01-09T00:09:00.000-08:00

I had to start a private blog with my Mistress which is the reason of infrequent posts in this blog but I still plan to keep this one. There is lot to share and I enjoy posting here too but there are few things I am comfortable to keep between me and my Mistress and it felt like that this blog wasn't serving that purpose. At the same time, I will be posting here as well. This can be like my public journal.

I can see the changes in my already. I was going through few of my previous posts (in one of my vanilla blog even) and I noticed that. I have developed new skills and learned more about me. I must that my Mistress and my lifestyle (that I chose to live) did help very much. My Mistress played a huge role in it and I am grateful for Her for Her insight and guidance. From learning basics skills like time management, consistency, cooking, personal hygeine, displaying and sharing feelings, self control, showing submission to Her are just few to name. I am thankful for Her being there and appreciating me to do what I wanted and to have realistic expectations to help me grow as a person I wanted to become and She wants me to become. I must admit that I have come a long way. From one culture to another to completely different world where I was excepted by Her even being in my worst form (when I believe I am better person now) and from one lifestyle to other but it was because of Her that my transition was not only easy but fun at the same. Thank You Mistress and I know there is more to learn and explore and I am excited about that. That is one of my new year resolution that to be open to what She has to teach me and to please Her with positive outcome.

Thank You Mistress.

2006-01-01T20:46:00.000-08:00

For 40 % you are: The metro. You are into trends and you like to look good. You are not afraid to shop and you are always the best dressed man in the room.
An item to buy to shake things up: athletic gear.
14.46 % of 1916 Quiz participants had this profile!

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When She enters

2005-12-21T10:30:00.000-08:00

This is one of the picture I was able to find which is closest to one of Her house rules. She likes to see me on my knees when She gets Home, waiting for Her and then to be collared. When Mistress gets back from work, I am usually at home and it is one of my duty to greet Her. She loves to be welcomed home with Her husband and Her boy on his knees with his collar in his hands to be put on around his neck for the rest of the day; kneeling in the posture that is pleasing to Her. Sometimes I would kiss Her feet worshipfully and She would hold me tight and snuggle me. She would command me 'up spirit' and i would hold myself higher so that She can hold me or put the collar around my neck if W.we are not going out later. Usually, after securing the collar around my neck and then I am ready to go and do what I was doing. It is wonderful as it gets U/us time to connect for rest of the day we would spend together, puts me in subservient position that She expects me in and gives U/us time to talk and greet eachother. At the same time, She can see that I have not forgotten my place when She was not around. To me it is the best time to read Her mood and then go from there. If She is tired or She would mention that, I would plan foot rub or foot bath or if She wants to go out She would let me know so that i can get ready and make the things ready if we are going out. Its a good time to connect. Sometimes, when I am busy in the kitchen cooking as She gets home, i am allowed to kneel wherever I want as long as She sees me and then I present myself at Her feet with my collar in hands later.

Quote of the Day

2005-10-28T22:35:00.000-07:00

"If you hold on tight to what you think is your thing, you might find you're missing all the rest." Anonymous

Waiting

2005-10-22T13:53:00.000-07:00

When W/we woke up in each others arms this morning, Mistress started to play with my nipples. She knows that it makes shivers go through my spine and makes me aroused instantly.
"I have been a very good boy, the whole last week. Right Mistress ? " I asked Her excitingly.
"Yes spirit, You have been good boy"I usually spread my thighs more anticipating Her touch. And I felt Her delicate fingers around my swallon member. I dripped and twitched. Its been few days. "But, I would like you to keep it that way a bit more spirit." She looking down with a smirk and I felt Her fingers letting go of my man's-brain, the way She call it and tugged on my balls and pulled slightly. "Yes Mistress, for sure, I would love that too." She smiled and licked my perked nipples teasingly before letting me go and settled in my arms.
"So what do you want for breakfast ?" It took me a while to answer that.

Later in the morning, I found this e-card in my email with this picture. I really do not know whats next except I am on the right track and that my sexy Mistress knows what She is doing .. lol .. I am excited to wait more.

My spirit,
Your daily submission is your greatest gift to Me . All the little things add up to so much to Me and soon enough you will be rewarded. I know you long for My touch and it will be more exquite for the waiting.
Until then...
your Mistress

My Place

2005-10-19T11:56:00.000-07:00

I am reminded many times of my place in different ways. Sometimes during the snuggles or just at Her feet, She asks, "Who owns you spirit ? ".
"You do my Mistress." I say with a smile.
"For how long ?" She looks down and asks again in Her voice so sweet.
"As long as you wish Mistress"
"That is forever and always" Then She holds me so close with happiness.

I am very lucky to be loved and cherished as Her slave in O/our relationship. I thank Her for keeping me and taking the time to teach me and train me to explore myself through Her cherishing guidance, positive dominance and loving authority. Its like being in heaven especially if the Woman You love is strong enough to understand You and to learn Herself how to keep You there.

"Do You know where your place is spirit ?" She whispers.
"In My heart and at My feet ." I love it when She says that.
"..and arould Your finger too, I believe Mistress" She laughs as I place series worshipful kisses on Her body so divine to me.

Pleased Mistress and new instructions

2005-10-18T23:04:00.000-07:00

Mistress was very pleased with me today. I tried a new dish and She loved it. It makes me very happy. At night while snuggling Her during a body rub and message, Mistress gave me new instructions for rest of the week, just out of the blue. Such little surprises excite me. Mistress asked me to wear panties She got me for the rest of the week and heel while i do the dishes. The way She said it was exciting. It was like She was having fun too. So I am excited about that. Anything new happening in any sub or Mistress lives, please share in comments ?

Punishment

2005-10-16T23:54:00.000-07:00

Punishment

2005-10-06T23:53:00.000-07:00

Funny .. Click here

Slaveboy Harem Name

2005-09-30T23:10:00.000-07:00

My slave boy is Pretty Little Boygirl.
Take The Harem Boyslave Name Generator today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

Goddess Worship

2005-09-29T12:53:00.000-07:00

Last evening, Mistress got home and She was surprised by Her new set of bongos She offered. It was happy to see Mistress quite excited. I did not open the package as I wanted Her to open it Herself since it was one of the things always on wishlist. I am happy about that. After dinner, Mistress took Her time to finish the book She is reading. Gosh !! She can read for hours. It is like I can spend time on computer, Mistress can do that with books She is reading. It is good thing since She is getting more time to read and have time for herself. Later we snuggled together. I showed her the vedio on venus on top. Her interview on TV about female led relationships. Mistress did not comment a lot but She was pleased that Femdom relationships are becoming mainstream everyday and people are talking about them on TV and internet.
Later in the evening, I spent time in Her arms. Just snuggling Her and holding Her while playing with Her warm silk skin, stroking it and massaging until She drifted to Her nap. It is amazing how relaxed She was. I offered Her a bath and then asked if She would like to cum before I could tuck Her to bed. To my happiness, She accepted that. I was able to make Her relax in scented bath, rub and wash Her body so divine to me while telling Her how beautiful She is and how much I love Her. I could see the happiness in Her eyes which in turn took me to my own happy place. hehe .. Later we played in the bedroom, I licked Her to an intense orgasm. I was not looking forward to that but Mistress said I would be rewarded. It did not take Her long to break me. I had a very nice orgasm and then we snuggled and held each other lovingly. Of course, She noticed that my brattiness was back something I call my 'pms' : post masterbation something .. I tucked Her to bed and left to spend sometime on computer. I was told in the morning when Mistress woke me up with Her kisses to make Her lunch and breakfast before She leaves that She had a very deep sleep which She had been missing for last few nights. So I am very happy about that and I feel great that I can make the Goddess in my life feel that way.

Foot Pampering

2005-09-23T10:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday evening, I was happy that Mistress was able to spend some time on the computer and was able to have sometime for Herself. Few days ago, Mistress mentioned that I may not be a slave but a submissive as She allows me way more freedom than others living the lifestyle and I act and work like submissive too. I argued with Mistress and did not agree to it but later I realized that She is right. Since last few days, I had been just focusing on clearing up the hurdles from Her way. To let Her have as much as time for Herself in a day and keep Her comfortable. Mistress had been helping me with that too. Telling me what She wants and how does She want things to be done and letting me do the most of them. We were able to shop a little and I was able to share ideas and W/we changed the look of O/our living room. It made Her very happy and I am feeling good about that. Mistress took me shopping and bought me more stuff and I embraced Her efforts to train me as She wants. I have been cooking, cleaning and trying keep up with chores and I could see the results already. Mistress was able to keep up with Her school work and hopefully I will help Her to save more time for the other projects She wishes to complete. Mistress seems much calmer, control of Herself and O/our relationship and more pleased with me too which makes me very happy. Yesterday in the evening, I thought it would be good idea to offer Her foot rub and paint Her toes too as they needed to be done too. Mistress allowed me the priviledge after I served Her tea. I have been chaste as well and obeying the restrictions so perhaps constant arousal is helping me very much too and inspiring me to do better to please my beautiful Mistress. I feel focused with my work as well and confident with my performance. Perhaps I may be on my way to deeper submission or the next level in Her service that She once mentioned and become Her slave the way She expects me to be. I hope that I will be able to find more ways to please my Mistress. I love Her to peices and more everyday. If any sub or Mistress has any suggestions, please comment .. thank You

2005-08-31T13:43:00.000-07:00

“They are probably an entire group of men that look at the whole woman. They see the whole picture, and they’re capable of embracing power and they love a strong woman, they are helping to define a new sexual revolution.”

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/07/09/48hours/main628570.shtml

Courting a Domme

2005-08-29T11:01:00.000-07:00

Courting A Dominant Woman

by Laura Goodwin

A few words of advice for submissive men who wish for success in the courtship process:
Not all, but certainly most of the heterosexual dominant women I've known want a guy who's got a lot on the ball. They want to be impressed, and BTW, they want to be made to feel special: to be courted. Sub males have a slightly different script to follow when courting a dominant woman, but it's not that different. Be polite, punctual, well-groomed, and please NO intimate gifts, such as panties or stockings, until you are actually intimate. You may bring flowers, if she likes them, but red roses are inappropriate for a first encounter. Yellow roses tell her you are terrified of displeasing her, go for the gold.
It is important to be honest about your strengths and weaknesses, if she asks, but keep a little mystery, will ya? Don't dump your whole life story, especially in your first conversation/letter. You are trying to get to know her a little, and let her get to know you. If you get a clear, unmistakable sign from her that to her you could possibly be more than a friend, _and_ if you like her, then you turn on the charm and do your darnedest to win her over.
Lots of men and women who meet through ads or S/M support groups make the mistake of rushing off to have dinner together. This is wrong. First, take a walk together. If that doesn't quickly become tiresome, then you may get coffee, even lunch together. Then you stop! Then you go home! Send her a note of thanks for the fine company, call on the phone to ask if you may visit again, and leave it up to her. If she doesn't encourage you, give up!
Let's assume the lady in question has requested that you consider yourself to be in the running. Groovy, but you are not out of the woods. She doesn't own you yet, and you don't own her. Bear in mind that you probably have competition for her attention, so keep your best foot forward, and make your mind up to be sporting.
Getting to know such a woman goes by degrees:
One way or another you get one another's names, this is called "We've met."
You hang out at the same places. This is called "We're acquainted."
You like her a lot and wish to date her. This is, "I admire her." (She might admire you, too.)
You walk, have lunch, call on the phone. Called, "I'm seeing her."
You go on a date for dinner, and dancing or a show. "We went out."
You spend Saturday naked at her place doing housework and cooking for her, maybe she lets you touch her somewhere. You ask to know if there are many rivals for her love. This is called, "We had a great time together Saturday."
(This is where the red roses come in) She has let you know that she prefers your company. You decide to seriously allow yourself to be shaped into her complete love slave, if she'll have you. You fling your heart and everything attached to it at her feet. She graciously accepts. This is known as, "We're pretty serious about each other."
(This is where the worthless worm part comes in) You have your first serious disagreement, meaning you don't let her win. You stick to your guns. She concedes the point because it's not worth a blow-up, then hates herself and you. You leave, while both of you are thinking that the relationship is doomed. You wisely decide that serious groveling can be fun, so you abase yourself and beg her forgiveness (bringing a valuable gift, preferably precious metal. If you have shared an orgasm before now, you must include a gemstone). This is, "Sometimes I can be such an idiot."
If she hasn't mentioned it before now, then now you ask if she intends to collar and claim you.
a.) If she's not sure, ask how she'd feel about you acting like a free man. If she says you are free, better believe it, and start dating other ladies again.

b.) If she wants to claim you, open up about any things you have reservations about, then ask again. If she then has doubts, see 9a.) This is called, "We had a very serious discussion about us."
She decides to claim you as her own. You share the happy news with your S/M pals by saying "I'm owned! I am property! I belong to mistress (her name) and I'm helpless in her glorious hands!" To your vanilla friends you say, "I'm engaged!" In any case, you give her a ring. A Really Nice One.
You begin to politic with each other about every niggling thing in the relationship. This isn't called anything. Nobody talks about this part, but everybody does it (it's necessary to make progress).
Eventually, you share a household. It is her house. You wash her undies for her. You notice that her undies aren't worthy of her heavenly pelvis. NOW you buy her underwear! You say, "Darling, I got something for you today!"

Let Me Be Aware

2005-08-18T09:27:00.000-07:00

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are... Let me not
pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. One day I
shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in my pillow, or
stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than
all the world, your return.

-- Mary Jean Iron

Quotations

2005-08-15T14:21:00.000-07:00

"I would like to see women take back control over their own bodies and therefore heal themselves, so that each of us becomes the totally integrated, powerful, clearly thinking, feeling, source of feminine wisdom that we were designed to be." —Jeanne Elizabeth Blum, Author of “Woman Heal Thyself”

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” –Adlai Stevenson

“I think God is more likely to be a woman because women are nurturing and caring and loving. The human male has become the most predatory animal on our planet. It's time that we embrace the feminine face of God.”–Deepak Chopra

"Ask a man what he thinks of his mother, and he will show you how he treats his wife."—Carl G. Jung

"You don't need to be a beauty queen to be a sex goddess. It's all about how you act, not how you look. It's the attitude."—Lady Misato

“Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom. It is also the price of having a highly intelligent, driven, desirable woman in your life--but it is worthpaying... and will make you a better man in the end.”—John Alanis

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." —Robert A. Heinlein

"Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." —Carrie Fisher

"In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker." —Woody Allen

"The double standard is alive and kicking – assertive men are respected, assertive women are resented." —Frumi Rachel Barr

"We find, so often, that the more intelligent and sophisticated the woman, the more self defeating and foolish her choices and her patterns of behavior with romantic partners." —Dr. Connell Cowan, and Dr. Melvyn Kinder, authors of Smart Women/Foolish Choices

Back at my place

2005-08-12T15:04:00.000-07:00

Thanks for your comment. I agree that TPE is hard to maintain 24/7 but a certain level of trust and submission (on my part) is mandatory in O/our D/s relationship. This is what I learned this time. Unfortunately, after hurting my lady bad and now trying hard to make up for it.

I started this journal few months ago as a personal diary when Mistress uploaded Hers online to share Her experiences with public.
http://kikasjournal.blogspot.com

Mine was up for totally for a different reason: To help me communicate my personal thoughts with my Mistress. I started with just to throw my thoughts/feelings at the moment depending on my mood. Many journals serve that purpose online. Sometimes it just calms me down and later to weed out the emotions that will not be helpful to me as a person and a submissive. It also helps me to examine how I have grown as an individual. As one of the purposes is to share my thoughts with my Mistress which I might find hard to put in words for any reason, I find it hard to keep few posts private just for U/us. That’s maybe how to the blogspot is designed. I might change that in the future and start a new diary for Mistress and I only. Few of my last posts are quite emotional and even hard to swallow even for myself. I think it is not bad though as they always help me to dig in deeper and know what caused those feelings. At the same time, about the dull posts like last one, I believe that every relationship goes through ups and downs and it makes it very real to put what troubles W/we go through in O/our 24/7 D/s lifestyle. It is not easy and very demanding. There are tedious moments along with tons of fun, frivolous or thoughtful. Fun is always there with all the exciting new things we explore along with downs in O/our relationship at times. I believe that it’s the way of life and it makes U/us very real. Perhaps I had not unable to put it all in this journal. As far as my issue behind my post goes, I learned to take responsibility for my actions and showed Her that I do care for Her and Her place in my life. I am happy She was able to feel it in last few days. It was not a trust issue this time as it had been before but it was of O/our evolved roles. As W/we are growing as a couple more issues are slipping in which is quite normal for any lifestyle, vanilla or alternative. I learned to deal with this one and to think at different levels. I may be too close to my Mistress than a year ago but it does not give me an edge to be bratty and forget my role and place in the relationship. She shows Her loves for me even more but it does not give me a reason to take advantage of Her love. Eventually, what i had put in my journal was noticed by Mistress too and W/we talked about it. I was assured of Her love for me and Her expectations if I am there to serve and please Her. Communication is strength of O/our relationship and it is always there to connect U/us more and that help U/us. I feel happy about it. W/we are back at O/our places and I am very happy about that and of course now there is more fun to come. :)))

Hurts

2005-08-09T01:32:00.000-07:00

Most of it was going well until this evening when i hurt my Mistress by my irresponsible behaviour. My transgressions were to the level that Mistress felt that TPE and all that W.we live by is a joke to me. It is not but perhaps at that time it was. I did forget my place. She asked me questions that She always does and She knows and expects the right answers. When they are not coming from heart, She can tell. W/we know each other well. To the level that W.we can feel things when they are not right. She mentioned that something is not right but I just played around it. Why I topped from the bottom ? Why I tried to push Her down where She does not belong, as a sub .. i dont know but it was very respectful. W/we struggled for a while. I oppologized. She listened and then did not speak much. She did not want to play the role and then things started to go worse. I pulled up my guards too. I knew She was hurt. The shame and guilt was killing me inside but Wwe were perhaps finding it hard to talk. I felt i was being given silent wall treatment. She wont do anything about the issue. She does not care anymore and She mentioned that She wont play the role of Domme in the relationship for at least a week. That was quite a threat for me. It was like cutting off my subbie part cuz She did not need it anymore. I felt vulnerable and i did not feel good too. Perhaps Wwe were both confused now. It is funny how things change with little unexpected things happen and flip the whole dynamics of things. It is good that Oour relationship is based on TPE but it can be bad too because if that foundation is shaken, it affects the relationship too. Anyways, later i had to spill out like i always do. Wwe talked. More closely. Held each other. I told Her that i am afraid. I dont want to hurt Her but sometimes i feel i would. For no reason, it is fucked feeling. Or perhaps there are reasons. Some inner guilt or lack of self confidence that takes me over again. Or perhaps just the intense dose of allergy med i am using. Mistress did went to be bed smiling with me but i can feel it that She is not completely happy. She is still hurt. It will take me sometime to work on the heal the wound, to win the trust again. I talked to Mistress Myne for i was still upset even i try to wear smile before my Mistress. That is another thing that my Mistress can always tell and feel. She was pretty disappointed too that i did that. It can be davestatiting for a Domme. She sent hugs for my Mistress too. I love Her to peices . I always will. I learned how important Her position and Her role and place to Her is, in Oour relationship. She is my Love and She is my Mistress. I am ashamed that i tested Her this way and hurt Her that way. I hope and will make sure that it does not happen again and if does. Wwe will keep exploring each other and getting stronger everyday.
Loves to You Mistress.

One of sub friend suggested that I should have Mantra/Oath and should recite it and keep it framed for U/us to see in O/our House. I should recite it to Her. And in situations like these, i should indulge in self punishments like sleeping at the floor for Her until She asks otherwise to let Her know that you know your place. Or Serve Her breakfasts (i already do that) ...
Good ideas but at the same time I do not want Mistress to feel that i try or i become more responsible everytime I fuck up.... I obviously need direction and should ask my Mistress when time is right.

Have you ever hurt Your Mistress ? Feel free to share your Topping from Bottom experience and how you and your Mistress/Master handled it ?

Do You have any suggestions of how to keep focused and consistent with your service to Mistress ?

I will appreciate the comments/suggestions. Thanks

Just so funny

2005-08-08T14:44:00.000-07:00

http://www.pendland.com/html/cow.html
Click on the link and have a blast .. hehehehe

Wonderful weekend with Mistress

2005-07-31T23:21:00.000-07:00

W/we spent another great weekend together warmed with O/our love for each other and sizzled with playtime and wonderful time outside. After having a yummy breakfast together on Saturday morning, Mistress wanted to go wreck beach. One of the beautiful nude beach in west of Vancouver. I have been there with Mistress only once and totally loved the place. But when W/we left home Mistress and I realized that it will not be good idea to go for beach at this time as it seemed to be cloudy and rainy. The plans changed swiftly and W/we went shopping .. Oh yeah .. Mistress got me a pair of leather pants and it looks fabulous .. yay !! .. I might be wearing to the next fet night, Mistress and I are planning to go together at SinCity. So after shopping, W/we went to one of the my favourite spot and spent few hours there in each other arms, played cards and just relaxed. The weather was nice and Fraser river looked beautiful. W/we left for home all relaxed and had our lunch and then got ready for the club. We got to know that it was lesbian night today and Mistress was not sure if W/we would be allowed to enter. I might be little asha at times but still it was not enough for me to make it work. Mistress called the club and Wwe found out that if i would be with a Woman they would let me in .. lol .. It worked. We went and had a awesome night dancing and drinking. Later in the morning, W/we left bed after having great sex again... mmmm .. Mistress was very pleased. After breakfast, W/we made our way to Pride Prade. It was fun and the parade was long and huge. I loved the outfits. Mistress enjoyed the eye candy .. hehe and took few pictures while I got hold of any condoms that I could. :)
W/we had a whole day at our hands so W/we decided to go to Splash Down Park. After a quick dinner, W/we were there in an hour or so. Mistress totally loves it and so did I as it was my first experience at water park in BC. Totally loved it but W.we left for home a bit tired and sun burnt. Tommorrow is suppose to be quiet and slow as W.we will be spending time at Home. Mistress need to work on Her assignment while I will work on the few of the programming projects I am working on. Love you Mistress ... hugs
Has anyone been to SinCity in Vancouver BC ? Please feel free to comment and share your experience here .. thanks

Spank the Booty - Powered by thedoghouse.co.uk

2005-07-30T00:46:00.000-07:00

Spank the Booty - Powered by thedoghouse.co.uk

Mistress Kikas Challenge: 497MPH
spirit's Challenge: 445MPH

Can you do better ?

What kind are you ?

2005-07-30T00:41:00.000-07:00

2005-07-30T00:25:00.000-07:00

Stolen from domesctic dreams's blog - thanks!

Copy this entire list into your blog/journal.
BOLD everything about you that is true.
Leave plain anything that is false about you.
Put an asterisk (*) at the end of false statements you would LIKE to be true.

I am bi-sexual. * (maybe)
My spouse or lover is aware of my orientation. (Yeah, straight. What's to know? LOL!)
My spouse or lover has watched me have sex with someone of my gender.
I have had sex while wearing a blindfold.
I have blindfolded someone else during sex.
I have had sex while watching porn.
I have had sex while surfing porn on the Internet. (Actually, just after. Hard to have sex and type at the same time!)
I sleep better after sex.
There are some nights I cannot sleep without sex or masturbating.
The bed is NOT only my most favorite place to have sex. * ( I just wanna try other places!)
I am turned on knowing someone is watching me have sex.
I am turned on knowing someone is watching me masturbate.
I have masturbated for my spouse or lover while on the phone.
I have masturbated for someone over a web cam.
I have had sex over a web cam. (long before i met Mistress)
I will have sex with someone I just met if they turn me on. (DID - When I was younger!)
I have been tied up during sex.
I have had sex with someone who was tied up.
I have dripped wax onto a lover's body.
I have had a lover drip wax onto my body.
I have a foot fetish.
I have a leather fetish.
I have a tickle fetish.
I like being choked during sex.
I have had sex in a burning building.
I like having my nipples squeezed during sex. (Mistress trained me)
I have erotic art on display somewhere in my residence. (If femdom art counts.)
I enjoy nudie magazines. (If they're Femdom nudie magazines.)
Erotic toys are a regular part of our budget.
I think PLAYBOY is tame, maybe even boring.
I have clicked on porn links in my email. (No way - viruses!)
I know the difference between girl/girl and lesbian sex in porn.
I have watched more than one gay/lesbian porn video. (Puh-leeze! Most of my male friends are gay! Gotta do something on a boring Saturday night, and it sure ain't gonna involve having sex!)
Much of what I know about sex comes from porn.
Interracial sex turns me on.
I have had interracial sex with someone of my gender.
I want my spouse or lover to have an interracial sex experience.
I want to watch my spouse or lover have an interracial sex experience.
I think we should do more to understand the cultures of sex.
I would participate in sex research given the opportunity.
My current lover does not sufficiently meet my sexual needs.
I currently have a "crush" on someone of the same sex.
I have had sex at my place of employment.
I have had sex with someone from my place of employment.
I have had sex with a former co-worker of my gender.
I am often disappointed in my sexual relationships.
Some people might describe me as a nymphomaniac.
I am difficult to live with if I'm not having sex on a regular basis. (hehe !!)
I sleep better with someone snuggled up next to me.
I have had sex under water. (Definately on the list now)
I have had sex in the snow. (Brr...okay added to wanado list too .. hehe)
I am in a polyamorous relationship. ( maybe .. not yet..if Mistress will allow)
I like to have music playing while having sex.
I have had more than ten orgasms in one night. ( No .. only 6 )
I have flashed strangers.
I have given sex as a gift. (Giving yourself to your Mistress is always a gift.)
I have set-up a three-way for my lover.
I stopped during this list to have sex. (yeah I am leaving now to take care of my business .. hehe)

Not sure how kinky that all makes me, but it was fun!

Mercy Position Worked after practice

2005-07-28T15:57:00.000-07:00

The other day Mistress mentioned that the positions She teach me may serve their purpose more effectively if i would have practiced them. Yesterday i fogot to make the bed for some reason. I could have been punished for it or displease my Mistress. I quickly made it for Her when i realized it and then went to Her and assumed my possion and appologized with a reason. :) It did not go to my punishment list and i hope Mistress will forget it too ... grins

Oragasm Quotes

2005-07-28T15:55:00.000-07:00

Notable sex and orgasm quotes

"Trying to describe an orgasm is like trying to describe being in love- you can't do it yet you know exactly what it feels like." -Anonymous

"When you have a cut, you have to leave it alone and let it scab over so it can heal, right? So when a 14-year-old guy has a cut on his penis, that cut can be there until he's 27." -Adapted from Loveline

"Writing is like making love. Don't worry about the orgasm, just concentrate on the process." -Isabel Allende

"The omnipresent process of sex, as it is woven into the whole texture of a man's or woman's body, is the pattern of all the process of all our life." -Havelock Ellis

"I don't see much of Alfred since he got so interested in sex." -Mrs. Alfred Kinsey

Guide to Cunnilingus

2005-07-28T15:54:00.000-07:00

If you serve a Mistress as Her personal slave, chances are that giving oral to your Mistress is one of the best things She may love about you. So i am adding few guides here to read about more techquines and positions to please your Mistress. I have learned that it is important to never to push Mistress and keep an eye on Her response and Her movements while you worship Her. I have noticed that my Mistress's orgasms are intense when She takes Her time to relax so i like that and find it as a way of my submission to Her to please Her. Also one should not push Mistress as many slaves get more and more excited to lick Mistress. If you are Hers, it is always Her choice if She wishes to use you in anyway She wants. The freedom to give yourself and the sensitivity you learn to please your Woman is a great relief for any slave. I will put more about Oral Woship here.

**************************
Guide to Cunnilingus 1

Cunnilingus is the fine art of making love to a vagina/vulva with your mouth and tongue. It is a delicate skill, requiring patience, practice, and dedication to get it right, but any woman you learn to do it right for will appreciate you all the more for it. What applies to the penis applies to the vulva - every one is different, requiring a different touch to make its owner happy. But few tools can equal the tongue for the amount of pleasure it can deliver to a happy vagina. This article assumes that you know what a vulva looks like and can identify with some precision the mons veneris, labia majora, clitoral hood, clitoris, labia minora, urethra, vagina, and perineum, to name them (approximately) from top to bottom.

This isn't an attack. Don't go after the clitoris like a fireman attacking a fire. Quite often at first, the clitoris is far too sensitive for direct stimulation. Lick around it, stimulating the hood, teasing her inner labia, tasting her. Take your time and listen to her. Some women make noise, and some do not. It will be a while before you learn exactly what your lover prefers as far as oral sex is concerned. Some women may like additional stimulation - a finger or two into the vagina, or perhaps even the anus. She may want your hands to reach up and play with her breasts, or she may want your fingers to hold her labia apart so that your tongue can get at her vulva more directly.

If the taste or smell bothers you or is a concern, ask her to wash first. Most people who enjoy cunnilingus agree that a clean vagina is a good, if acquired, taste. As a woman nears her climax, she may want more direct stimulation. In general, fast, rhythmic stimulation is most effective at causing climax- but there shouldn't be a rush to get there. Take your time and learn to appreciate what you can do for her.

Some people are particularly turned off at the suggestion of cunnulingus during menstruation. If it is a concern to you, then wait. A tampon may well hold the blood back, as will a diaphragm, but some men can't stand the taste anyway. If your partner is healthy, however, there is no particular danger in menstrual blood, and some women find that orgasms during their periods allievate cramps.

A Guide to Cunnilingus 2

Tongue and vulva

Any licking and sucking of the labia, vaginal entrance, clitoris, or anal area is going to feel just great. Start your tonguing by lapping her vulva from vaginal entrance up to her clitoris, while keeping your tongue and jaw relaxed. Run your tongue between the inner and outer labia on one side, while keeping the two sides together between your lips. (There are two lips on each side of her vulva, do this to one side at a time.) Then do the other side.

Tongue sex

Make love to her vulva with your tongue - in and out, around and around, try with your tongue hard, then soft and change the tempo often. This feels nice. Spread her outer lips with your hand. With your tongue pointed and stiff, gently flick the end of your tongue here and there. Roam around, but keep coming back to her clitoris. Be careful to not apply too much pressure on the clitoris in the beginning, wait for her signal - moaning and bucking her hips. This drives some women wild, and others can't take it.

Intense vulva techniques

When she’s really hot and her vulva is throbbing try these incredible intense techniques. Watch her signals closely as these techniques may be too much, even when she’s nearing orgasm. With her clitoris still exposed, give it a quick little suck by pulling it into your mouth briefly and letting it go. This will drive her insane with ecstasy! Take her exposed clitoris into your mouth and gently suck on it, at the same time flick your tongue over and around her clit. This can be done very lightly or very aggressively, and combined with fingering, will usually rapidly produce an intense orgasm. Try rolling your tongue into a tube by bringing the sides of your tongue up and together. If you can't do this with your tongue, you can't learn it, it's a genetic trait. Roll your tongue into a tube around the shaft of her clitoris, sliding it up and down, making a tiny vulva of your own for her clitoris to fuck.

Oral vulva-sex positions

For a very comfortable session, have her lie on her back with legs spread and knees bent slightly. Lie on your stomach between her legs putting your right arm under her left leg and your left arm under her right leg. Your head is comfortably in place near the center of your attention. Your arms wrap around her legs leaving your hands free. Not as comfy but a bit wilder is this one. Lie on your back and prop a couple of pillows under your head. She kneels with her vulva facing you with one knee on each side of your head, above your shoulders. The sexy part of this position is that your partner can look down at you and watch you eating her out. Comfort is reduced for the one eating here, so you may want to start in this position and finish in the above position. Have her lie down with her legs dangling off the bed and resting flat on the floor, most beds are too high. She must sit just at the edge of the bed, lie back, and give you plenty of access while you kneel/sit in front of her genitals. These are by no means the only positions, so experiment and have fun.

2005-07-19T15:23:00.000-07:00

Slave!

You are 25% Dominant and 65% Submissive!

Hit me harder Mistress! You know what you like. Lick the boots and taste the
leather. You enjoy a heavy hand over you, telling you what to do. You
live to serve.. and love it.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 16% on Dominant
You scored higher than 98% on Submissive

Link: The Master or Slave? Test written by undue_influence on OkCupid Free Online Dating

2005-07-19T14:35:00.000-07:00

Halberd

You preferred a weapon with 40% power over speed and 47% range over melee.

You use a Halberd.

Possibly
the most versatile polearm ever made, the Halberd is an elegant mix of
spear and staff, remaining relatively light while having an effective
cutting edge and stabbing point. Your enemies will never get near you;
your personal space will be as unreachable as a faraway land.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 40% on power
You scored higher than 63% on range

Link: The What's Your Signature Weapon Test written by inurashii on Ok Cupid

Road Trip

2005-07-10T23:43:00.000-07:00

Mistress just got done with Her meds resently and as a result as Her infection is gone now Her energy is back and this weekend had been quite active. I am very happy that Mistress is feeling better and W/we got back on the road too ... lol.

This weekend W/we BBQ'ed with one of my friend and then watched Fantastic 4 in the theater. Mistress wanted to watch the movie as a fair part of it is done in vancouver and BC. It was fun to see few places that we could recognise in the movie. The animation was nicely done and W.we were very much interested in that too.
Sunday had been fun as well. Mistress loves to drive so She suggested W.we should go on a little road trip for a day and She decided to take me East, to the Hell's Gate Airtram Park. W/we left home after having yummy crapes Mistress made for me and W/we were there at almost 1:00. W/we spent few fun hours there and then our way back home W/we went down for a hike at Alexendra's bridge park. I loved my time there. It was a bit scary too as W.we were both alone in a the middle of canyon on an abondoned bridge, few feets above the roaring Fraser river. It was quiet but interesting. Wwe had our lunch and left for home. As it started to rain, W/we changed our plans to not to stop by cultus lake or the tunnels Mistress wanted to show me. Overall it was fun to be back on road with my honey and spend a wonderful weekend together.

Before getting home we stopped by superstore to shop. I found Mistress roaming around in Ladies section looking for something .. lol and next thing i knew was Mistress was looking for some stockings...hmm .. Her every smile has a different meaning and this time I could tell,She was upto something ... naughty .. lol I could tell and next thing I found out was She had bought a stocking not for Herself but me. I squirmed, denied and played around the ideas a usual but none worked as always .. lol it was done and now I have nice stockings added to my play drawer that I would wear with pride for Her when She would like to see me dressed and pretty at Her feet.
It was a fun weekend and I hope and pray there are many to come for U/us. With all my love for my Mistress.
I am Her spirit.

Qualities of my Mistress

2005-07-07T14:16:00.000-07:00

This is just a random list i was thinking about that why i submit to my Mistress. Few of Her qualities that make Her so special to me. I love you always honey. Its one way to appreciate my Mistress too by knowing and admring Her qualities and things I love about Her.

1. My Mistress is my wife.
2. my Mistress loves me and cares for me yet i am Her beloved slave.
3. Mistress is fun
4. Mistress is organised Herself and expect perfection from Her slaves
5. My Mistress is feminine and beautiful and a great inspiration. One to look to
6. Mistress expect obedience and respt at all times, She earns it rather than forcing it on others
7. Mistress is a diciplinarian. She is not afraid to punish when it is needed
8. Mistress is Superior and She knows and have an ability to be comfortable with the responsiblity of being a Mistress and an Owner
9. Mistress is becoming patient everyday. Very good quality. A must for a leader and a Mistress
10. Mistress wears the pants with pride ... lol and feel proud of me when i wear skirt
11. Mistress is role model. I look to Her. She has learned a lot from Her experiences in life and that makes Her stronger and i trust Her with my submission
12. Mistress is sensitive
13. She does not let me slip with my brattiness well I think its a quality as it saves my butt
14. Mistress is a great cook. She is good at making many cusines.
15. She has a seductive sweet voice. I have heard her whisper in my ear. Its breath taking. She sings sweet too. :)
16. Mistress go by the protocol and try to live by Her principals. She is independent and always tried to live a life independently. It is one reason the situation of friends who are not doing well but they ca hurts her
17. Mistress loves to travel .. oh yeah. She is outgoing. She has helped me to get comfortable with her friends even when i was in totally different environment/culture.
18. Mistress is good at what She does. She is confident. I have seen her doing the whole show. She is good at work yet She likes to be appreciated for her work and effort. I am sure her hard work will pay off
19. She trusts me. Well She tries ... lol ... She understands how it works with men. Little head takes over the realone sometime .. sighs ...
20. SHE IS BECOMING A PSYCOLOGIST .. thats one of the coolest thing
21. Mistress has her own whips and toys. She learns to use them. Try to be comfortable with them and train me with them. It is because of Her that my body has become sensitive to Her touch and i can enjoy endrophins and erections and cums even from Her gentle lil strokes.
22. Mistress can bring the best out of me. I trust her with that. She would love me always. Because of Her openminded and loving personality i felt comfortable with her since the first day. I am full time slave now.
23. Mistress is not selfish. One of the rare traits of Mistress. She may have other subs or players and i can play under Her supervision or if She wishes. She never wanted to bound me. Many Mistresses ... especially wives are not like that at all so that makes Her awesome.
24. Mistress dreams high. W/we both do and W.we will get what Wwe want one day. I trust Her abilites and Her potential
25. She loves to be worshipped, pampered and loved like Goddess. She helps me to do it better and it makes Uus both happy.

~the list continues~

One of Pic Mistress Likes

2005-06-20T08:47:00.000-07:00

f2a8
Originally uploaded by kikas_spirit.

One of the picture Mistress liked from my collection. I will add more.

Progress

2005-06-19T01:39:00.000-07:00

I just tucked my Mistress to bed and She allowed me on computer as long as i want. It is a priviledge and Mistress has been very kind to me and i am grateful to Her for that. So i think i must make use of these moments to think, learn and research while thinking of my Mistress which will help me with submission to Her. Just ramble but i believe they always help me to think and make sense of where i am and where i am going.

Mistress had been a little sick and i have tried everything i could to be more attentive to Her needs. I cooked for Her and made sure that She has me around when She wants me. My Lady is strong and fabulous Woman and She does deserve all the the attention, love and care.I love my Mistress and i cherish every moment She allow me in Her presence and at Her feet.

I have not been active with my blog but this is what i have been working on with my Mistress:

- My status has been enhanced from submissive --> slave --> boywife. I always dream of Female Supremacist Lifestyle but i was not sure if i would ever live it but slowly Mistress took me there. Mistress took me under Her wings as a very shy, underconfident, self concious and submissive boy but i have grown as a person in Her loving care and dominance as a person, as a slave and a good partner. Mistress diciplined me when it was needed and loved me always. My duties were added slowly to my everyday tasks list. Different rituals helped me connect to my Mistress and recently Mistress named me Her lil'asha and gave me status of Her boywife. This role reversal as helped me in many ways. I am dressed like a Woman, behave like one and learn to be sensitive to opposite sex as i am put in Woman's shoes while keeping my male macho side as well. lol .. it is a little secret of O/ours and my Mistress knows of it only :)) Also, I feel that I have come to have better attitude towards other Ladies. Mistress makes sure i do not forget that. For example, some times while watching TV or driving or being outside i would comment 'She is bitch or such a slut' which is quiet normal to use in male conversation but it is unacceptable in O/our lifestyle. Mistress would correct me and ask me to be nice. Sometimes when Mistress chooses to play with me and exporing me and my body in very vulnurable times and positions, She would use the same words for me which reminds of me of my place and teaches me humility towards Women. i do not know if it is one of Her technique but i do think of myself when i use such words for a Woman. I am not as pretty or hot as my Mistress but i try and imitate Her which is very pleasing to Her. It is interesting how am i more responsive to Her touch, sensitive and sensual then i would ever be as spirit. I can feel it and my Mistress takes me to a different world and helps me to open up more with every moment while She will not let go of spirit as She loves spirit as much as asha.

I must slip to bed. Good night A/all.

asha got Her attention

2005-06-10T08:26:00.000-07:00

Mistress got home and i was kneeling where She has taught me to be, on my knees, in my greetings position but dressed differently this time. i felt like a totally different person. A bit shy as she kept calling me asha. I felt it very girly which it is but after sometime i was getting used to it. Mistress said She is pleased and i looked pretty. She loved my boobs and the way i was dressed for Her and waiting for Her. She wanted asha in the bedroom and said "Cum Asha ... you have earned a cum" ... mmmmmmm
i was not expecting that. She has become so good to put me in my special space, spirit space and asha space. She kept talking to me. Kept using my new name and admiring the new person i have become ... mmmmm ...
"On your knees asha" ... "Show me your bum" .... "oooo you are so sexy, My lil one, my asha" and then She grabbed Her paddle and rubbed my skin to get ready for it and asked me how asha's feel ? She is loving it and She begged Mistress to touch and use her as She has trained Her. "more Mistress" ... waackk ... and i felt the burn and cried "Thank you Mistress, please more" .. She was pleased. It was the hardest She had me beaten with a paddle. My skin could take it. Mistress mentioned that She could She it red and i could feel it burning but mmmm .. i loved it so much being vulnurable and letting myself go in Her control and dominance.
This time She broke our little paddle on asha's bum and now perhaps asha is ready for new one, a harder and bigger one. Mistress was very pleased. My limits had been streched. Mistress pulled my undies down roughly "My lil slut" I groaned .. Her fingers wrapped around My hard dripping shaft as She whispered "who owns you Asha ?" i cried in pleasure "You own asha Mistress" ..."who do you serve ? and worship ?" I could feel my nails on my burning cheeks "I serve and worship you My Mistress" ...
She kept teasing Me. It is hard to think but I had to make sure i come with right answers or Mistress might not just let me go. Mistress always know what I want next ... but it is important that I do not Top from bottom and do not forget My place. I felt Her finger playing with my ass.... mmmmmmmmmmm .... She wanted to fuck Me and i wanted Her in my ass for two reasons, it pleases Her very much and being fucked by Her means coming freely. I begged Her to use Me and Mistress thought it was a very good idea. I loved the element of surprise She keeps Me in. The butt plug will stay inside Me and will She touch me and reward me now. I was told the butt plug have slipped so easily and She is pleased that I was so eager to take it. I moaned. I was loud. Mistress pulled it out and than again in many times. Playfully. Trying to strech me perhaps. I do not know what was on Her mind. Pushing it deeper. She fucked Me and grabbed My cock then and jerked My cock. I was asked to wait as long as I can. I was still worried She will let me go. It will be a punishment. It was funny. My mind was racing if i had done anything wrong and then i was loving Her inside Me. I was close. I begged Her as usual and She allowed me to cum. It was a very intense orgasm. I was left with my butt plug deep inside and Mistress cleaned Me. She told Me that She is very wet too and She loves Her new asha but it was enough for today. She pulled the plug out and i was asked to dress and wait for Her. She would like to snuggle. I was getting back out of my world. Feeling all relaxed with mix feelings of embarresment. I wanted to run and hide but I did. In Her arms and held Her tight. Mistress enjoyed me very much too. She said i looked pretty and She likes me in that position. Spanking Me and then fucking Me. She was all wet Herself and I offered Her if She would like to be worshipped now... mmmmmmm ...She said yes !! ... I played with my Mistress as well and She had intense orgasm and then W.we snuggled and talked and planned the rest of the day. The little asha was born... and She loves Mistress as much as spirit and She would grow in Her loving guidance to be most pleasing to Her for she is all Hers.

i am lil'Asha too

2005-06-09T15:34:00.000-07:00

It has been sometime since I have updated my journal. It may be because there was a lot to write as so much went on in last few weeks. We went to camping twice and then I got sick. I have been editing and updating Mistress's blog more than my own as Hers got a lot more attention from other visitors then mine. I am proud of my Mistress that Her blog got a lot of attention and more and more people are reading it everyday and appreciating it as well.
As W/we got a new car it was not too late when W/we were on the road. Mistress loves to travel. She rarely stays at home .. lol .. always on the run and sometimes I find Her much more active than me which puts me in the bunch of lazy asses(not a good thing for a slave at all) but at the same time it is good because it is help me out. I am trying to keep up with her and loving it at the same time as W/we go out together and have fun. I am happy that I have a Mistress with lively, viberant and active personality.
As I had been spending a lot of time at home. I am officially declared as boy wife. Mistress printed out a list of duties for me. My boywife duties that i have to complete daily,weekly and monthly. Mistress was very pleased when She found me on my knees all dressed for Her in my high heel shoes, my black dress She got me and little boobies. I was so shy and embarresed but She helped me and told me to accept who I am and I will be for Her because it pleases Her. She showed me how She would like me to see walking in heels. it was fun. She wore it for me and asked me to watch Her and see and i tried to walk like Her. Of course, i cant be as graceful as my Mistress but i try and imitate to be Her which is very pleasing to Her.
I am getting used to my feminine side everyday with Her training. Today i am asked to complete my chores while dressed for Her in high heels.It helps and i think of Her and so many other things. I am still chaste though and getting better with it everyday. She chose a name for Me this morning. Its so cute and sweet. I am Her lil'Asha (i am not sure if its final .. She did not mention anything about that) and i will be Her asha, dress, behave and present asha at Her command when She would like asha around. It seems hard. I dont know where i am going but Mistress does and i trust Her lead :)) and i am enjoying it too. It is like my other side only known to Her. It helps me grow in a different way in Her love and submission. Mistress said perhaps She would like to train me with makeup tonight. I am very shy when it comes to asha but I get over it under Her command and have started to like it too. Its amazing to the lengths i would go to please my Goddess, my perfect Supreme Lady. It is fun to learn and explore Her side of the world. Mostly as you do get to feel the cutting shoes to look sexy like other Women and look good, taking time to put on makeup and dress and getting comfortable with yourself. I wonder where else She would take me and what i would be in Her loving ownership but i am happy to be at Her feet, in Her love and loving Dominance. :)) Mistress was in better mood so i asked Her if i can roleplay(i have been lot of trouble because of that already so i thought i should ask Her ) but She liked my idea of allowing me only in asha's character but it will be monitored by Her. So i have to comeup with a plan to get Her final approval and show Her where and how i will do that. I will wear Her name and collar. Mostly wives will not let their husbands do that or their husbands will cheat but i am happy that i can approach my Mistress with such requests. If it will be helpful to Her training or wont interfere with it and also to my duties realtime, if all will be good Mistress may allow me. spirit himself has been completely roleplay forbidden but perhaps asha may be allowed. I need to let Her know first how it will help me with my submission and U/us. I am looking forward to that and awaiting Her approval. So i am planning to put it forward for asha and she might come up with some rules which i will follow of course but its a good sign, at least She tolerated the word 'roleplay' as i have learned it is not very pleasing to my Mistress.
I must run and complete rest of dishes before She is home.
caio

Female Hormones causes Male Submissiveness

2005-06-06T12:22:00.000-07:00

Scientists recently have found that female hormones can make a man
more submissive. Research on a female hormone called copulins, found
in vaginal fluid, will bring about submissive behaviour in men who
have digested it either orally or through the penis, if he remains
within a women's vagina for too long. Copulins from the female can
even become airborne and be breathed in by the male.

Men who has had a digested a large dose of copulins can be so
submissive towards the women he received it from, the women can – to
quote

A) Change, remove, or insert memories.
B) Tell the male what he sees, hears, feels, smells, tastes.
C) Insert subconscious thoughts that will surface as male "ideas" or
behavior later.
D) Plant trigger words or actions that can cause thoughts, actions,
or sensations in the male at later dates (days, weeks, even months).

Anyway you can read more about this at -

http://www.copulins.freeservers.com

According to Sandra Morrishaun the owner of this site. The research
for this was done in the 1990s but when the implication of this
research was realized, the universities funding this research, pulled
the plug on it. So she has had to continue funding her own research.
They also closed down the web-pages that mentioned this research.
Which is understandable, as many men would not want to publicized
ways a women and get the upper hand over men.

To me copulins makes logical sense of the strange behaviour of
Judaism, Christianity and Islam, as all these religions seem to be
frighten of female sexuality. Orthodox Jews only have sex with their
wives with a sheet separating them. (They have a hole in the sheet
for the penis). Fundamentalist Molems try to cut down contact with
women as much as possible. While fundamentalist Christians regard sex
and sensuality as a sin. It could be that in the past, priests of
patriarchal religions worked out that too much sexual contact with
women, makes men submissive towards them, undermining patriarchal
power. In Christian countries during the Middles-age the hormonal
power of women over men, might of caused the savage Witch-hunts.
Having no scientific reason why men were becoming submissive towards
women, the women were probably were accused of Witchcraft. Resulting
in millions of women being tortured and murdered.

The web-site claims that the best way a man can get a large does of
copulins is for him to hold his penis inside the women without
moving. It seems the longer the better. Now this is exactly the same
method used in Taoism and Tantra. I have long suspected that both
these religions were once matriarchal, this seems to confirm this.

The research makes sense to me, on a personal level as well. When I
was a young man I was brought up to be a real male chauvinists. Then
I had a relationship with a women where we had long sessions of sex
together that were more sensual than sexual. (Though we didn't
practise the tantra type of sex this site talks about). In this
relationship my attitude towards women completely changed, from being
contemptuous towards women to wanting to worship them. I have since
been puzzled by this and cannot understand how she completely
brainwashed me. But this research gives a valid reason how this may
of happened.

It would also make sense in evolutionary terms as well. The biggest
problem in the "survival of the fittest" theory is that in many
species, males do not have a role in ensuring the next generation
survives. In fact in some species like the lion the male acts like a
parasite. Because the male does little in hunting for the pride, and
will use his bigger size to bully away the lionesses from their kill
and eat first. Which is detrimental to the survival of his own
young, because it is more important for the female to be well fed and
healthy, if she is going to produce and suckle young.

So a mechanism that makes males submissive towards females has a big
survival advantage for humans during the Stone-Age. (Which takes up
95% of human existence). Because it ensures females are fed in times
of hardship. This is because if most of the males in a community die
but the females survive, it won't harm the survival of the tribe,
because one male can fertilize hundreds of women. But if the males
are dominant and feed first and allow the females die of
starvation. Then the tribe will become extinct because the males
cannot produce children. So it might be evolutionary pressure that
produced this hormone. As tribes where the females are dominant will
survive better than tribes where the males dominate, during the
difficult times of the Ice-age.

It also makes sense of why women like long sessions of sex and macho
men prefer it to be quick, (wham, bang, thank you ma'am). Because
the female can instinctively brainwash the man if sex takes a long
time. While the macho man instinctively knows the dangers of getting
too intimate sexually with women.

Stereotyped Culture

2005-05-17T08:31:00.000-07:00

I agree with this sub husband's(Dan) opinion I found in one of the group. Please feel free to comment:

"I think we all need to remember stereotypes are just caricatures with some basis in fact or averages but little value when judging individuals. We are all the same yet different - the product of our upbringings, our genetics, and our culture. In the end I think women want partners who respect and care for them, who see their individuality, their strengths and their foibles, and value them in spite of and because of who they are. Handsome of face, strong of body, purposeful of mind all wane with time yet it is the combined journey, the memory of trials faced, joys shared, disappointments and sadnesses weathered that make a relationship.

Recognizing and accepting our cultural biases won't necessarily make them go away, but they allow us greater objectivity and sensitivity to the feelings of others. And the willingness to step out of our comfortable roles to show caring and kindness, is a demonstration of real courage, more valued than any stereotypical male bravado. To hide in stereotyped cultural roles is not the sign of a man in my book (or woman for that matter)."

Unchained Animal

2005-05-11T08:15:00.000-07:00

Naked Truth

2005-05-06T09:02:00.000-07:00

W/we have got a new car so now W/we are spending lot more time moving around and visiting friends which is good in its own way. Mistress is planning a friend's surprise birthday and a trip to Island in the coming weeks so it is keeping Her on Her toes too. Then baseball every wednesday. A lot is going on. I had been working on the website but I am still not happy with what i have got there. It can be much better but i am testing. Just brainstorming ideas. We are getting feedback from people and people like Her blogs the most. I will be adding Her Art, some of which is just beautiful. Mistress started drawing just for fun years ago but I find it interesting that most of the pictures She selected to draw seem pretty much close to femdom. Strong Women. Warrior Amazons. Sexy and enticing. This is what I see it revolving around which shows my Mistress's interest in lifestyle long before when She was not actually into it.
The week had gone well. Mistress had Her ups and downs and so did I but W.we managed it well. A night ago I stayed on computer late. Browsed and broke one of Her rule. I am chaste and She expects that to be followed strictly. It affects my service to Her, my moods and my training. I was worried and afraid to confess that I will upset her and esp. in the middle of the night which is the worst time. Slipping into bed quitely did not help much. Mistress could tell something was wrong as W/we talked and She was really pissed off when I dragged the truth that I had failed Her and later confessed it. Yes, worst comes to worst and Mistress was totally devastated. It made me hurt more. None seem to work but Mistress calmed down and I was told how this would be dealt with. It is on my punishment list. She has not decided yet how i will be punished and I have not mentioned anything about it too. I will be punished not for failing Her but lying to Her. I might be put into chastity device too. Mistress thinks it will help especially when I am not learning the self control myself (like many hubbies). At the same time, there is my fantasy around it. She being my keyholder. All pleasures coming through Her as She takes more firm steps to keep take things in Her control. While some view it that it can be worst that can happen to a man. Not to me though if it can help me with my submission to Her and self control. I am still not sure and choice is Hers in the end always but I hope I wont forget my lesson and other men in my lifestyle too.As they say, "the naked truth is always better than the best dressed lie."

Boywife Training

2005-05-01T22:10:00.000-07:00

Goddess dyed Her hair to dark cooper brown and i helped Her. I think She expects me to make it one of my duty that i help Her dye Her hair. She looks beautiful and it feels wonderful that I helped Her with this look. Goddess felt a bit tired this evening so i made Her coffee. Many slaves/subs all around the world are always trying to contact Her, some send messages, some emails and some comment directly that spirit is such a lucky slave to be owned and kept by such a Goddess. Yes i am and i am blessed by my Goddess everyday.
I have been feeling a bit down lately but Goddess took me for a walk. She takes care of me. When i am down, She is kind with me and i am told i am Her most precious pet. She does what She says and i feel it.
Sometimes i am a brat. Which has changed in last few days. Whinning .. is what i need to work on.
Goddess want to train me as Her boywife. i am officially boywife now. She got me high heels shoes. i am asked to keep my nails filed. She expects me to look good. Goddess thinks i have such sexy legs. i might have to shave them for Her later. i have started to love it too. i do my chores in my shoes. They are hard to walk in but they look sexy. i can feel my chest thurst out as i walk, back arches and your bum sticks out. Its amazing the way high heels work. i have been very shy. i had been cross dressing but i have never been to this level. It took me sometime to get comfortable in my new clothes but deep inside i like it and Goddess knows i do. Like She said "spirit I am helping you to be what you are deep inside" If i look at it this way that i am able to experience both my boy and girl sides with my Goddess, it makes it much easier. Which is pretty true. She told me that She may want me to paint my toes later. I would do that for Her but i am of course reluctant. Also, from now on She might fuck me with my high heels on. It is enough to make every slave just drool for this Goddess. There are million mens who think of that and want that. This is food for an imaginative slave who likes to play with Goddess like mine. I may have to dress for Her, flirt with Her, beg Her to take me, use me or let me lick Her... She would tease me. Still in the end it is Her choice. If i wont please Her ... i might loose Her attention or i might be tormented more and kept aroused. I love the way She surprises me. I may be Her slut in Her bedroom or Her boywife in Her house, prancing around the house, learning to walk like Her girly but i am pretty much man out the house, when i am walking beside Her She is in the heels and i know how to keep slow and what it feels like to walk in heels, to look good and sexy, She does that for me but at the same time She knows of this secret only. I love that. Who knows where else She takes me, slowly, with Her love, Her loving lead while i love the experiences and the O/our journey in Femdom.

Rules Revised

2005-04-26T01:18:00.000-07:00

I took control of the white board in the kitchen and W/we have been exchanging messages. It was mel's idea, one of the subbie friend i started to talk recently. Of course, she is a brat and i thought i would be fun. Perhaps Her Mistress let Her go. She tops from bottom and brags about that. Well i tried to copy her approach though added my stuff too ... like Subbies rule ... i wear the pants. .... and it is funny. My Mistress took it very differently and seriously though W/we still laughed about it. She put something on the white board before having Her breakfast i made for Her... hehe ... Subbie's learn the rule ... i love Her thoughtfulness ... hehe she came up with some more bratty idea but i submitted. Wont risk it mel cuz' Mistress already thinks i have been a brat for somedays ... and She is going to take care of my punishment list soon. Perhaps ..not sure when. A lot is going on. Mistress has been upset too and it worries me. Our car is acting up. I hope all gets better soon and things may go as W.we have planned .. Still we are not doing bad ... i love my Mistress. From last few days i have noticed the confidence in Her. The Aura of Her personality. When She is around other people and talk to them. Especially with our meeting with rob. It was nice. I felt so proud of my Lady and to be collared by Her. It was interesting.
While talking of rules. I just found the rules again She had set for me to go through them again.
Rules:

I expect punctuality when you are to see Me
I expect you to do tasks right way when requested
I expect you to learn the positions that I teach you and perfect them
for Me
and not have to keep reminding you of them
I expect you to refrain from masterbation while away from Me
and if you can not, to disclose it to Me immediately when W/we talk again
I expect you to take responsibility for your mistakes and not at the
end of My crop
I expect you to treat Me with respect at all times, even if angry

With blessings of the Goddesss

2005-04-19T19:49:00.000-07:00

You're chocolate. You're the old soul type, people
feel that they have known you their entire
life. Many often open up to you for they view
you as thoughtful and trustworthy. Although
people trust you, you have a hard time trusting
them. You prefer to keep your feelings bottled
up inside, or display them very quietly. It is
alright to open up every once in a while.

Which kind of candy are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Nipple Play

2005-04-18T23:54:00.000-07:00

Today i stayed at home and spent sometime on the computer. I missed Mistress as She was still at work. Whenever i do that, i am pretty much in the habit of doing something that will make Her feel better. Today i went through number of panties She had given to me and i tried a blue thong. It looks good. I have started to like them as i get so much turned on with Her touch. When She was home, i hugged and held my Mistress and welcomed Her home. She loves that. Later we went out for dinner as She was not in the mood of cooking and i am still a bit back with my cooking training. Mistress excepts me to take charge of the kitchen for that too but there is lot of other stuff going on right now. I hope someday. I will be happy to do that.
In the evening, when W/we got home i was all naked and just in a playful mood on the bed. I helped Her with the laudry and folding it when it was done. Mistress is quiet teasing at times .. mmmm .. especially when She plays with my nipples. It is amazing how good i feel with Her touching my number. She can make me hard whenever She wants. It tingles. I love the feeling and i never knew that my nipples could get this sensitive to my Mistress touch. She knows my body well and that is one reason She owns it too .. smiles
Mistress licked and played with my nipples. I am never allowed to touch and this time She did not too and i was expected to have an orgasm. I knew i could because it felt awesome. Her lips on me. She was all over me, playing with my lips while at the same time licking and sucking on my little nipples while teasing my cock. I came and i loved it.
Later W/we spent sometime on the computer. I am usually at Her feet but i was already tired and slow. I lied down on the lil bed in our computer room. I heard Her saying that probably i should not have allowed You cum at this time ... hehehe ... i did took a small nap while She spent some time of computer. Later W/we watched a movie Sideways. I found it interesting. Oh W/we saw Finding Neverland at the movie. Mistress choose it. I thought it would be a kids movie but it is one of the best movie i had ever seen. It was a lil bit emotional for me which is i like. It took me back to things that inspire me, my world of imagination (which includes a lot of femdom ..hehe) and adventure. It is hard to get back to come back to real world and leave Your own neverland. I did miss my mom and my parents. I hope they are doing well too. In short, the movie was worth sunday evening. Johny Dep, man once again he is cool.
Mistress is already into bed. I am allowed free time at computer at nights. Mistress does not mind that as it gets me sometime to work on my things. Sometimes programming, just looking around, browsing or simply playing games. I enjoy it and then i cant wait to join my Mistress in Her warmth and love when She holds me at night. I hope the day ahead brings pleasure for U/us and all who read this post.

Blessings of Goddess to A/all.

Blogspot needs a whipping

2005-04-13T14:13:00.000-07:00

This is crazy. On the search engines, blogspot is showing my blog updated 105 years ago. It totally sux. I have been updating it almost everyday. I cant change my profile, it wont update. What am i doing here? I need to make my own blog and will put this blogspot of rack for a read bad whipping .....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

if anyone else knows of some good blogging website/ideas/suggesion ? please put in my comments. Thanks

2005-04-07T08:43:00.000-07:00

miss ya my journal .. i have a lot to write but right now must fly to work .. sighs

Long Weekend

2005-03-27T22:40:00.000-08:00

I just tucked my Mistress to bed. While i am spending my time here to figure out how to burn few of the vedios i would like to. Thats cool though. Shareaza worked quiet well. I downloaded some stuff from pixar and many other vedios and now i have to figure out how to burn them. To bad W/we do not have a DVD burner yet but hope this will work okay too.
Coho is in hard waters. She broke up with chris which is sad. He is still emotionally attached to his ex which is kind of silly. Not right. Leah is a wonderful girl and chris was not only lucky but happy to find her too.W/we could see that when W/we were together. They were doing good together but then just from nowhere his ex again jumped back in. I asked leah if he still has a chance because i know chris will want her to come back in his life but it has not happened yet.She said that She is not sure. I hope it works out and if it does not. They may move forward easy and find the happiness thats awaiting for them. In any case, W/we love our coho in crazy waters.
Weekend was great. W?we watched movies. Spent a lot of time together. Did some sessions where i was able to save my bum from some training .. lol . Mistress said it will happen more often as She wants me strapon ready soon .. ~evil grins~ and oh !!
She trained me with a position today. Mercy positon. My hands streched before me, Forhead on the floor. Bottom up. I am to assume position at Her command or when i wish to confess or tell Her something that i think might upset Her. i am not sure if the position will help me to get away with punishments or dicipline but it will be helpful to say and express what i wish to say. I am thankful for my MIstress for being thougtful and helping me to express myself in all ways.
Other than doing house work, going out, movie and other stuff W/we had a small celebration of O/our marriage. As it has been a month now since O/our marriage. I was thinking flowers but later i took my Mistress wife to the cake shop where W/we had the cake from for O/our wedding and enjoyed some pasteries and enjoyed the sweetness W>we had tasted a month ago when W.we become Mistress wife and slave husband. I hope there is a wonderful week ahead for U/us too. :))

New position

2005-03-24T23:06:00.000-08:00

I wonder if Your Mistress has tried this before. I was at my Mistress's feet while at the ceremony. She were wearing Her black high heels. While giving me instructions about my new status as Her slave, She slipped Her tip of Her heel through my collar ring and then placed it on the floor. Trust me it is a very submissive position, there is no escape. Your face is pressed to the floor. You are at Her feet. Bottom up. If naked, Your balls and ass will be shamelessly exposed. Perfect for dicipline, training or punishment. A very vulnerable position for a slave. Mistress has not named it yet but it is very thoughtful of Her. Mistress said i need to learn my mercy position. I wonder what it would be like !

Ceremony

2005-03-23T23:34:00.000-08:00

Today is a very special day in my life. Mistress offered me Her collar as Her slave to me which i accepted in a beautiful ceremony arranged and through by my Mistress. I am not a submissive anymore but Her slave in all ways. That means deeper submission and a new level of O/our relationship. It took me 8 months to win this status which puts me more into submission and humility to Her.
W/we i got home i found my Mistress sitting on Her throne chair in O/our living room. All dressed in black outfit, high heels, leather and Her black cape. She looked fabulous. The room was fragrant with insence and lightened with dim candle lights with slow sensual music in the background. I hurried in O/our playroom to get ready to present myself. I disrobed and put my black shorts on while holding the black collar She had placed on the shorts and hurried to Her feet. I remember dropping to my knees. My eyes locked to my sexy Mistress while She sit on the throne with grace.
I streched to kiss Her lips like i would always do when i would greet Her but i thought it was not the right time. I lowered and kissed Her feet as a greeting. She smiled. While playing with my hair She told me how special day it is. She called me spirit at all times and i use Mistress unless W?we are in the vanilla world.
Mistress ordered me to kneel in the chain circle just beside Her thorne. i knelt while She took the collar and asked me to offer my neck. It was arousing when She asked me to kneel straight, neck high. She watched me carefully that if i obeyed. I wanted that collar bad and of course i did. She passed the collar though candle fire telling me that it cleans it and then put it around my neck. She held me tight and whispered looking deep in my eyes "Welcome Home spirit" I was at Her feet and i felt like melting. She held me tight and kissed me on my lips. I was finding it hard to say anything. I felt half drunk but i thanked Her for collaring me.
Then She asked me for my hand and held the needle. Pain comes with love and submission. I was holding a white rose in one hand and red in the other one. Mistress priked my finger and a drop of blood was put on the white rose. Then She priked Hers and mixed Her blood with mine. Her blood drop on the red rose too. The two flowers were interwined and they will stay with U/us forever. Then W/we tasted each O/other blood and Mistress declared W.we are one in blood too.
The chain was put around me. It was cold with my skin. She held me tight while putting Her around Her too. W/we were O/one in metal. Mistress would own me and i would be most precious to Her. I thanked Her and told Her i would be Her slave and forever. i thanked Her for the honor and i accepted the responsiblity of being Her slave.
Mistress sat back while i was at Her feet. Playing,kissing and touching. She did not stop me. She told me how it would be different. Everything that i had learned as submissive would stay, all the rules and duties except i will be put in my place without delay. Mistress warned me that She will not be lenient with dicipline and punishments. I will have to be careful in and outside of Her household. She used me as Her foot stool while She talked and gave me these instructions. More subs, male or female, may be added to Her future household or Her/mine play parteners but it will not affect O/our bond as One that W/we wittnessed today. Mistress told me i am most precious to Her and very loved one. She used the words as 'Her property' for me while had deep effect on me. i m happy so is my Mistress. Later Mistress took me out for dinner and W/we celebrated O/our new places. I dreamed of being a slave to Strong willed, confident, loving dominant Woman always and She accepted me as one. I am a lucky one and thank You my Mistress for Her collar and all the love, care and sweet ownership.

Surprise

2005-03-23T08:38:00.000-08:00

Today is 23rd March. I was collared by Mistress eight months ago. It is first ceremony after O/our marriage. This morning i got my instructions how my Mistress expects me after i get back home. I have to get naked, put my leather shorts on and take my collar to Her and kneel in the front room. Just to think about it is exciting.I am not told much about it at all except it is a special D/s bonding ceremony. I will find out in the evening. :)))

Spirit's Day

2005-03-21T22:37:00.000-08:00

Mistress said that its "spirit's day". I was really tired on my way back home when i got a call from my Mistress to see where i was and i was told She cooked for me and She is awaiting me to have dinner with Her. mmmmmm ... A wonderful cook, fun wife and sexy loving Mistress. What else ya need ? I had steak, patato, shrimps with butter garlic sauce and carrots. MMMM and later yogurt with fruits. I was really in the need of that. It refreshed me and i felt awesome. Mistress was happy too :) Later W/we did dishes together and watched some TV. Canadian Genie awards. i would like to see The Corporation. I wonder if W/we will be able to find it at blockbuster which is close to O/our house. There is one another french movie that Mistress liked too. About a frence canadian singer or arist. It will be good to watch too and the animation which won the award of Best Motion Picture. Its amazing how good the animation movies are doing. I am not allowed a lot of time on computer. I am tired and Mistress could see that. I am happy that She takes care of me. It helps. Many times i am very careless especially about my sleep and bad eating habits. Thats one thing O/our lifestyle has helped me with it. I would go and be a happy snuggle bunny ~g~ as She would be expecting me. Mr Ceaser is off to bed .. ~evil grins~

What did i do to please my Goddess today?

2005-03-20T16:01:00.000-08:00

*Worshipped Her sacred body and heard Her have a pleasureful orgasm. It is such a divine experience.
*Wore my panties without telling Her to do so.
*Did dishes.

2005-03-20T14:28:00.000-08:00

I am waiting for my Mistress to call me so that i can join her to go to one of friend's party. I hope She is having a good time. I called Her but She has not replied back yet.
So i just took my lil brunch alone and spending some time on the computer here. Blogspot is acting funny and there are features that it does not offer. Mistress has found it hard to upload some pictures too so i am looking for a website that supports easy directory search as i like to read others in lifestyle and vanilla, easy picture uploading and maintenance. So i will be playing with other blogs websites and later suggest to my Mistress. If you know of any good one, please post in the comments :))

Panties

2005-03-20T01:28:00.000-08:00

Today was a pot luck at one of my Mistress's friend. W/we had a great time and enjoyed my good food. Before leaving Mistress wanted me to wear panties underneath for Her. I was kindof whinning but She made me choose them. They were cream colored, see through panties and She thought i looked very sexy in them. She played with my nipples telling me i am Her such a good boy and my cock throbbed while She watched. It is amazing how responsive my body has become to Her touch. Perhaps She was pleased so i was told to get on the bed while She cropped my bottom. Her crop kissed me with sounds but it was painful. I tried not to whine or complain. I could take more for my Mistress. Later She leaned over me, rubbed my body and pulled on my balls. She told me i am such a good boy and started to play with my cock She owns. She seemed pleased. She touched me more and played with me. i was throbbing and deep in my subspace. Mistress told me i look wonderful in my panties and She likes me seeing in those so i would wear those and i am such a good girl of Her or something like that. i groaned and moaned and its hard to resist. She allowed me a cum and i was really happy. i hope my Mistress enjoy the control now and power of Her loving dominance. I wonder Mistress has some kind of plan while She trains me ? i wonder where SHe is takiung me .. lol but it feels goood ...mmm... W/we can both feel and see the way my body responses to Her that shows She is such a wonderful trainer. It is different, surprising and wonderful everyday ... life is gooood ... mmmm :)))

2005-03-20T01:21:00.000-08:00

growing
joining You in this journey
a shadow of an ivy branch, wrapped around Your trunk of strength
climbing only as far as You desire to permit
flexing, reaching towards the edge
reshaping
bending, never breaking
Your gentle caress stretching my limits
holding me in Your palm
molding, guiding my dreams
trusting
never permitting me to fall
the edge moves farther, safe in Your hand

Your soft words of praise
encouraging, lifting my soul
submitting
relinquishing control
Your will becoming my desire
Your smile, my pleasure
desiring, respecting Your domination
i am Your precious one
trembling in anticipation
submitting to my Love
seeking my Protector
yearning for my Teacher
worshiping my Goddess
You are ........ my Mistress

Lil Session

2005-03-17T23:28:00.000-08:00

i have sometime before i am expected to bed so i should write my journal. Today was a really busy day. i am happy that all is well with my job. I was upset for no reason yesterday. Mistress tried to calm me. Later in the evening, i hurried home with happiness to see Her. Mistress had dinner ready. She had already eaten so i had my part and it was nice .. Mistress had asked me in the morning that She would like to meet anyother sub She had been talking for sometime. A friend of Hers but She would like me to be there beside Her as Her r/t subbie. As i was quiet stressed already about the job, i did not say much so later in the eve Mistress mentioned it again. I do have the choice that is why She always asks me what i think though the decision is Hers in the end. i was reluctant to see the other sub. i did not trust him. i thought he is still interested in Mistress. She would own him but She may try to push Her or perhaps try to push Her to train him or find him a training Mistress. Knowing U/us realtime would open up bunch of other possibilities for him as i am still not sure what his real intentions are. Perhaps i am being judgemental. My Mistress could feel it that i was not very excited to meet this boy. If it was a couple too, like a Mistress and sub, then it makes sense that they want to get together, know U/us as they are living the same lifestyle too but him pushing my Mistress to see her while MISTRESS suggested that i should be around but not him ... seems fishy.
I remember She tapped Her knee when i was done with eating. i put back the stuff in the kichen and knelt at Her feet where my place is. i was so tired and She held me and it felt like haven. i love Her so much for that. She nurtures me like i am most precious to Her.She kept calling me 'spirit' which has a deep effect on me. It is the name given to Her by me and it takes me deeper into my submission to Her. I could feel it again. i was probed more about my feelings about the other sub seeing U/us. i admit that i was unable to explain.
And then just surprisingly Her finger was curled in my collar ring and Mistress pulled me and kissed me like a strong willed Woman would. i was told that i should get ready for Her special attention and birthday bumps. oooowww ... i almost whinned and protested but it was already said .. i knew it wont be a good idea .. i tried to kiss Her but i was not allowed. Just in an instant i was unable to touch my wife without Her permission. i was being put to my place.
I have learned to keep up with Her pace when She walks and i am on my knees. Mistress has done it for some time and then Her "on the bed, naked,in your training position"was enough to make my heart bumping my chest. i did not know what was coming next. My Mistress is always dressed or wearing something when i am being trained, punished or used. She wore a green silk nightey while i was naked on my knees awaiting what ever She chooses to do with my body and spirit.
I learnt i had been bad and Mistress wants to make sure i know my place. i was asked who i am to Her, why do i love Her, is anyone else be Her slave yet? It was hard to think and find words while Her crop kissed my skin to pull the correct answers out, deep from my slave belly. i was told that She felt i have forgotten my place for last few days. My skin burned. I was far from safeword but i was struggling and learning. I wondered how my bottom looked to Her but the pain was sinking deep as i was told to get ready to take my birthday smacks.
I could hear my groans. I was asked to count and 2 out of 3 times i was wrong. i wondered if i was hit extra for that because i am not good at counting while being cropped esp. after 15 on one cheek .. so yes i realized the crop still works awesome for a punishment. She has become so good with Her blows, crop and flogger that it hurts when She wants it too so i wonder if i will be able to win Her crop so that it does not stay a tool to administer punishments too.
While writing this i can feel the burning sensations on my bottom and remember Her words when i was not able to touch Her and She was teasing me and playing with the cock She owns. i am still need training when my Goddess takes me. She feels so good that i beg to cum. Today it was like She sucked the energy out of me ... slowly ... i could feel Her pussy sucking on my juices. She was not very pleased as She wanted to talk more, use me more .. Mistress thinks i can do that and i will. i need to submit to Her. Focus on Her and Her pleasure only, do math as She says ... something .. perhaps feel like Her toy ... i want to do it so bad .. its the last thing as She thinks i am perfect in all other ways but i need more training. She is too sexy to put thoughts somewhere else, She feels good .. lol ... i love Her so much
It was a small session but a remainder that She is my Owner and i am Her slave. She chooses and i obey. I am precious to Her then anything else so She would choose the best for me, for U/us. i trust Her judgement and Her decisions. Unsubordinate and bratty behaviour and questioning Her authority is displeasing to Her. Touching Her, kissing Her, talking with Her freely and many others are previliges She allow as You learn their importance once they are taken away from You. Thats what i learned today. I am so happy She is in my life to be my lover, my Mistress and my Goddess gardian Angel.
With loves and prayers for Her,
{spirit}MsKika

2005-03-16T16:14:00.000-08:00

You scored as Satanism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Satanism! Before you scream, do a bit of research on it. Satanism is a religious or philosophical movement centered around Satan or another entity identified with Satan, or centered around the forces of nature, particularly human nature, represented by Satan as an archetype. To be a Satanist, you don't actually have to believe in Satan. Satanism generally focuses upon the spiritual advancement of the self, rather than upon submission to a deity or a set of moral codes. Do some research if you immediately think of the satanic cult stereotype. Your beliefs may also resemble those of earth-based religions such as paganism.

[See updated quiz called "Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)."]

Paganism

95%

Satanism

95%

Atheism

55%

Islam

35%

Christianity

30%

Hinduism

25%

Judaism

20%

Which is the right religion for you? (old version)
created with QuizFarm.com

To my Goddess

2005-03-16T11:43:00.000-08:00

Who is the one who will hold my hand,
Who is the one who will set me on the way?
Who is the one whose eyes I see,
Watching in the fading light of day?

She is...
One who trusts and respects my commitments to Her,
One who will not knowingly break those commitments (nor let me break them),
One who is strong and mature, able to look on my tempest with calm,
One who revels in my strength and its growing,
One who will stretch me, mold me, break me, yet never leave me broken,
One who will nurture the soft other inside,
One who is constant, always returning,
One who is mindful.

She is my wife, my model, my friend, my challenger, my Mistress, my Goddess. And my love for her is given fully and freely.

These words are honest and true. So shall they be.

Her Birthday boy

2005-03-11T10:23:00.000-08:00

Today is my birthday and i got a day off at home .. yay!!!
Mistress was the first one to wish me on my birthday when i woke up in Her arms. She likes to snuggle and hold me in the morning and it makes me incredibly happy too. In turn, making it harder for both of U/us to leave the bed. My Mistress got me a beautiful card and there is more to come as W/we are going out and then She asked me to "protect my bum" .. lol and i turned 23 so i kindof know whats coming. Her crop has been sitting idle for sometime and it might need some kisses. mmmm it shivers me and tingles my whole being that i will get a lot of Her special attention. Perhaps She may choose to play with me if She is in a mood. I have been kept denied and horny for sometime so i may get rewarded with a cum too ... i am not sure cuz i had been quiet a bad boy in last few days.
She had been kind and linient after O/our wedding so my lazy, brat and careless was more aparent. Mistress took care of it well. She warned me few times. i did not do well on my own so i was diciplined and put back to my place. Some hard and fast rules were set. I was put back to my place where i belong in Her loving but strict care as i go through my training. My Mistress is happy and that makes me feel just wonderful. She is very pleased with my service in the morning when i help Her get ready and leave for work. I am in bed at times and i mostly know when and how to behave. I am working on anticipating Her needs and wants. Just little everyday things and Her rule that before leaving any room i should ask if She would like anything or would need any help. It helps me to show my respect for Her and focus on my submission to Her.
I must admit that i have learned to feel Her dominance and control through Her voice, voice commands,gestures and looks. "My boy","birthday boy","spirit come to me", "spirit..." all these have deep effect on me which is strange for me myself.
i am trying to learn Her gestures, Her movements and to read Her moves. My Mistress has beautiful eyes and they can say a lot. If She is happy, upset or if She wants me at Her feet. Little things like lowering myself(unless directed otherwise) when She kisses me as i am tall so that She has easy access to my lips and body and it does not hurt Her neck are becoming a habit. If i wont She would tug on my collar to put Her focus on what She wants me to learn and remember.
All this put me in my deep submissive place and i simply respond in the way asked or needed and learn to anticipate. Other things like offering to go for walks as She likes them, to massage and bath Her feet, not touching my peepee, my respose to Her touch and putting more attention to house chores, controlled computer use show that my Mistress has helped me a lot and She is just a wonderful trainer. I love and worship Her more and perhaps i should ask Her to put me from a submissive to Her personal slave/consort. 23rd is coming soon so i was thinking if i should ask my Mistress to have O/our D/s ceremony/ritual on that day and perhaps my status can be changed on that day too if Mistress thinks i am pleasing enough to move from being Her submissive to slave.
Happy birthday spirit. Good luck on Your life and service to Your beautiful Goddess .

International Women Day

2005-03-09T23:53:00.000-08:00

i do not have much time to post. I started my day in Her arms and then serving Her in the morning. I have rules straightened up which makes things easier for me. Mistress has been strict about them but it has helped and i am grateful to Her that She takes Her time to train me. Soon the things She expect will be my everyday habit and it will get easier and easier for me.
On international women's day i thought i should not forget to show my love, devotion and submission to my Mistress so i got Her choclates. It really pleased Her. I wish and pray for Her success that day and everyday as i wish to She Her on the Top of everything. My Mistress has great potential in many things (art,singing,cooking,everyday knowledege,D/s) and i am proud of Her for that.
mmmmm ... She bought a new whip for me today. i will post the pic here for everyone to see. Gota run before its too late and join Her in bed without talking and disturbing Her .. lol

New Rules:
Here are a few rules that I expect you to strictly adhere to:

1. I expect to know of all your online activities and all ID's.

2. When you come home, you are to take off your coat, and wait for Me
in the greeting position in the living room until you are collared
once again before you do anything else.

3. When I ask you to do something for Me, I expect it done right away
and without out complaint.

4. Before you leave the room that you are sharing with Me, whatever
room that is, you are to ask Me `is there any thing I can do for you
before I leave Mistress?'

2005-03-08T09:44:00.000-08:00

My Mistress left not very happy today and the feeling is beaking my heart since yesterday night. i broke Her trust and disobeyed a clear instruction again. i hid one of my id which i still believe was totally unintentional but it did upsetting Her and upsetted Her really bad. What can i do right now is what is important ! She was upset so She could say anything. I know She loves me and She did not mean a lot of it but what i could do was to stay calm, listen and monitor my behaviour than Hers. Talking back to my Mistress would simply elevate Her anger more which is not good for both of U/us so i stayed calm. I tried my best and let Her say anything She liked. I start again by pushing myself into deeper submission and focusing my attention to my Lady by:

1. Admitting my mistake that i broke Her trust and believing that this is not the end and i can win it back. She loves me and She will always keep the doors open to help me be myself what i truely am. Her lover and Her slave.

2. By monitoring my behaviour on moment to moment basis. Monitoring my Mistress's emotions that am i pleasing to Her ? I need to learn to anticipate and be the mind reader.

3. Although She was the main character of my fantasies always, my roleplays or any art i work on. I need find ways to show Her that more openly and divert my attention to Her only for She is my Goddess who is real and i can touch and feel.That puts all my sexual energies towards Her too. i am sure it will please Her.

4. Write my journal everyday esp. about WHAT I DID TO PLEASE MY MISTRESS TODAY? AND WHAT DUTIES AT HOME I PERFORMED. It should be a house rule(i would suggest to Her) as it helps me put my thoughts together. I should read back at least one post back as i have bad memory and i forget things easily. It keeps me submissive and focused which is most pleasing to my Mistress.

TO REMEMBER:
GET TO BED BEFORE 12:30 and SHUT UP TO NOT TO DISTURB HER.
DO DUTIES THAT ARE YOURS TO MAKE HER LIFE EASIER. BE PROUD OF HER VALUED SERVANT
THANK HER FOR TRAINING AND KEEPING YOU AS LOVED ONE
NO TALKING BACK TO YOUR LADY
BE PREPARED TO BE PUNISHED FOR DISOBEDIENCE OR MISTAKES. ADMIT AND BE RESPONSIBLE RATHER THAN TRYING TO SAVE YOUR ASS. IT WILL PISS HER OFF MORE. WHEN ADMONISHED, KEEP YOUR EMOTIONS IN CHECK. REGARDLESS OF HOW HUMLIATING OR HARD THE PUNISHMENT IS, REMEMBER THAT IT IS PART OF YOUR TRAINING AND WILL ONLY SERVE TO MAKE ME MORE SKILLED AND VALUED SLAVE.
YOU ARE HER SPIRIT. SHE LOVES YOU AND EXPECTS THE VERY BEST FROM YOU.

Sub Husband

2005-03-03T12:19:00.000-08:00

I am happy to put it here that i am married to my Mistress. When i look back, i spent 7 months with Her, with wonderful moments and ups and downs, O/our relationship was no different from regular couple except there is no shouting, humiliating for each O/other or power struggle because from the very first day my Mistress took me as a submissive and this is what i will be to Her for the rest of my life. Her love slave. A consort to my Goddess. What is more wonderful about this is that She does not have to be bitch to get what She wants which shows the strength of Her dominance and beauty. I am happy that i was able to help Her realize this strong part of Her personality. I am happy and honored to be owned by Her and be Her love slave.
Before O/our wedding day, Mistress played with me. Just an evening before wedding. I was all stressed out and nervous. I tried my best to not to show it but it is just impossible to hide it from my Lady. I was not expecting a play but when She feels like it. It is going to happen and i am always ready for Her attention .. lol ... what is interesting is that ? When She is in the scene or getting ready to play. I could totally feel the change. I could feel Her holding my reins. Nothing says tabboo at that time. She can say whatever She wishes to say though i have to extra careful because if i displese Her at such time, i will be responsible for the consequences. I find it very sexy. Her turning into seductress and temptress. Perhaps it is the Domme space for Her. For example, like yesterday when Mistress started to kiss me perhaps because She was pleased that i painted Her nails for Her, i was at Her feet on the floor and She pulled me with my collar and pressed Her lips to mine. I could feel tingles going through my body. W/we kiss many times a day but sometimes it is totally different. They put me back in my place reminding me that i am owned and She is the owner. Sometimes She would tug on my hair, keeping my head in one place and play with my lips with Her tongue. At such times, i try my best to reach Her tough but all i am left are Her sweet juices to clean from my lips. It breaks me when She bites me on my lips or sometimes just push me back to ache for Her touch and wet kisses. It is puts me in a different space and my Mistress if good at doing that. Her orders turning into stern commands and i can feel in the dominance in Her voice too. She might use Her crop, She might not use me at all, perhaps She would touch me or just ask me to make Her cum and leave me quivering with desire. It is hard to tell and the surprises make it more interesting. And then when She is satisfied, i have been a good boy and i have pleaesed Her She may choose to make me cum. There are so many feelings a sub and a dom both go through. W/we drip and W/we quiver with desire for each other and when W/we are done .. lol .. i see my Lady in my arms sweet and innocent in my arms. Mostly .. lol .. i love Her for this. She is a wonderful Woman and i serve and worship Her... forever. :))

messy day

2005-02-24T23:42:00.000-08:00

i kinda knew when i left home this morning that it wont be an easy day. i was not able to accomplish things almost everything i touched and when i got home early, i made my Mistress quiet worried and upset too. In the evening i stupidly mentioned roleplay to Her because i wanted to ask Her about the group i wanted to join so bad. She totally flipped out and i realized that it was not a right time to put such stuff on the table especially when i needed Her kind attention on that. i love Her for Her possessiveness but sometimes i feel that perhaps its because She does not trust me or perhaps She thinks that i am so easy to steal. lol .. perhaps She perhaps how long did it take for Her to leave my uncleès house and be with the special love of my life and now when i am...this is my Home and Her feet is my place. i may look and talk to Oothers but does that mean i would forget my place and all the special moments i had. When She is open to listen something, i can put anything up and She would guide me, discuss and direct and forbid me if She thinks its wrong. What i did wrong was that SHe was not in the mood already for such talk. She was already upset about marriage thing and i pulled up a new issue. For years, roleplay had been my only way of meeting different people with different thoughts. Sometimes they are interesting, sometimes challenging but they had rarely lead to any realtime relationship esp. when they know i am already in one. It sometimes hurts me when She says .. nothing is in Her control or Do whatever You want .. She just lets Her go perhaps on purpose because for a moment She thinks that way but i do try hard to keep that control in Her hands. Oour trust is what binds Uus and Oour love for each Oother. i lost it again today perhaps. i wonder how would She handle it when i will be back to school one day or at job when i will have talk, meet and work on different levels with number of people. It worries me now that if i will be able to win that much trust. I am willing to give as many tries as i can for She is the Woman i have always dreamed of and i have Her in my life. i careless of that roleplay shit. i like to write stories and fantasies and i can write them to my Mistress. Perhaps She may have a better idea to help me take care of this but i do have to wait for a better time to talk. i did learn that when She mad. Its not that She does not love me but She is upset and She has to take it out. Best option is to retreat,listen and stay calm until She cools down too. There is no other anyway ..lol
All seems fine now. She is sleeping but i hope tommorrow is better day. i will leave my journal with good thoughts.

Panties

2005-02-23T22:56:00.000-08:00

Mistress got me bunch of panties today .. mmm and they are sexy and in all colors. She loves me in panties and thinks i look sexy. That is something new of me to explore. A different kind of mindset i had been as i wore panties for her. Submissive and feminine too :\ ...but i love wearing them for Her. i wonder what She thought when i said will i become girly ? .. perhaps its that macho male thing in my head which i am ot at all really and that really does not work with my Mistress either. Mistress was just here. She expects me in bed at 11:00 so ... my time is almost over. i would try to write some in my journal everyday. Even they are random and unrelated thoughts. We are getting close to our marriage and i exited about that too as i think of it.
I am Her spirit and i am in love with Her.

At Home

2005-02-22T13:13:00.000-08:00

Today i am a stay at home sub for being sick. I just called my Mistress and let Her know. She is kind and loving and gave me a bunch of instructions to how to take care of my sick self. lol ... She is sweet and i love Her for that. Actually just talking to Her for a moment made me feel much better and i felt energatic, got up ate and had vitamins She suggested and water and lot more. So it greatly helped. i am still slow that usual but i am sure i will be up and running till tommorrow. As i am at home, i got some time to write my journal so here i am.
In simple words, Life is good. W/we are taking O/our commitment to a new level next week. W/we are getting married. Most of it is done. My beautiful Mistress has Her clothes ready. Mine are almost ready as well and W/we checked out those of Her friends too who are really excited and happy about U/us. i am happy that W/we are getting to this level. i know i will be happy with Her and i can keep Her happy too as W/we are totally compatable with each other. The wave length W/we are on is the same and so is chemistry. i hope i am upto Her expectations too till now while at the same time, i am always trying to improve.
W/we had been quiet busy in vanilla life as i put some in my last post. My Mistress is quiet viberant and it takes a bit to keep up with Her ... lol .. She is way more energetic then me but i have noticed that it has helped me as i am trying to keep up with Her. i take it as one form of submission to Her so it adds to my happiness to please Her as She finds me side by side of what She enjoys doing like meeting with friends, going out, shopping etc.
For last few days i have been trying to keep my focus on Her even though i am very much tired because of my new physical job. But i have to keep up with it. I ask myself everyday that what i have done to please my Goddess today? It is also interesting to find ways to make Her life easier. That is one way of my submission and worship to Her. The other day i did dishes for Her, tommorrow i could not do much except a lil massage and today as i am at home i will be taking care of vacuuming which had been due for a long time. It will help my Mistress with allergies. This technique helps and keep me focused. At least one thing a day to please Her, make Her life easy or make Her feel that She is center of my love and life.
i am happy that W/we are getting married. Not only i will be Her husband and so many other things. i would like to change my status from a sub to Her love slave. Tonight depending on Her mood, i would suggest that to Her and do a small private ceremony to have out D/s ceremony too. i am sure it will be different and beautiful.
i need to update our group with few files and do my house chores.
With love to my Goddess

this weekend

2005-02-21T01:55:00.000-08:00

Its late and almost two. Mistress just came and expects me in bed with Her. i messed around and wasted my time on computer mostly. i should have my tasks listed and i should know what i want to accomplish in the time i can spend of computer. She allows me to use the computer freely but i need to be careful.
This weekend has been busy too but fun as usual. i spent it with Mistress and friends. We went to white rock beach on saturday. Today it was garets birthday. Mistress took me there and it was a great time spent with Her. W/we watched a movie before we got home.
On saturday, Mistress used me. i was asked to be nacked and wait for Her in the room while i could take my drink. i was very much drunk. Mistress cuffed me and played with me while i enjoyed my helplessness in Her loving control. At times she was rough with me which made more submissive and made me wanted Her more. i was teased at the same time which made it more interesting. i like to cum after my Mistress but she allowed my before Herself this time. Sex means Her oral worship. If i am lucky, She allows me inside Her. i am so used to licking Her and trained to enjoy it that i can cum watching or making Her cum. It is good that it helps me to focus on Her pleasure and teaches me self control. At the same time it keeps me submissive to Her. The element of surprise makes our fun time more interesting when She chooses to play with me. Mistress is always in control. i do test Her or bug Her at times but i know when i can and when i dont mostly esp. during our plays. i rarely remember a time when i was out of my place. i am starting to like Her crop so i wonder if it is really for punishments ... evil grins ..
i am reading celestine philosophy these days and finding it interesting. i am able to apply it to many events in my life and i hope it works. life is good and i am happy with my Mistress.
Later in the evening i did dishes. It is good that she did not have to tell me to do them. i am sure it pleases Her more as it satisfies me.
Sometimes i feel like i start to forget my place. sometimes its only for fun as W/we like to laugh but i noticed that perhaps i disrespected Her unintentionally. i need to know at such times so that i am careful. Mistress loves me and i hope i am not taking advantage of it. i submit to Her with all my love. i wish U/us a wonderful and happy weak and i hope the big event that is comign soon, goes well :))

Scene

2005-02-07T22:38:00.000-08:00

Last night Mistress played with me .. mmmmmmm and it was just awesome. W/we are getting good everyday especially when i am being trained and Mistress is knowing how and when to push the right buttons. It is just fabulous. I am not getting time to write about it. Today She helped me a lot and put all my stuff in closet and arranged my things. That was a bit of work so She is all tired now and i am waiting for Her as She gets ready for bed and i can give Her a massage to relax Her. It has been a busy day. Everyday is and i am being put to bed in time (which is good) so i am not late for work (mostly) and i am sleeping as much as i should too. A lot more to come and happen in the coming days :)) W/we are planning and working on it as i am falling in love with my Mistress deeper. With prayers, loves, hugs and kisses for Her. Good luck spirit.

2005-02-06T20:18:00.000-08:00

I am home and it has been more than 5 days. It has been fun and i am happy. i have been a bit lazy and my stuff is still piled up in O/our spare room to be arranged but W/we had a wonderful weekend. W/we were out on sunday and had a big walk. Spent some great time at Granville Island and then went to few sex shops. Mistress has got me a butt plug and i will trained with it in coming days. She has some really creative ideas and She thinks that i have no idea what i have put myself ~grins~ It is gona be fun for sure. Then i got a ring too for my cock. She would like to feel me more than usual inside Her ... lol ... so this is gona be fun too. She is different from other ...... (gota go)

Home

2005-02-02T08:32:00.000-08:00

I am Home :))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Gripping the Other half tight

2005-01-26T02:43:00.000-08:00

Today I felt that She does not understand me and my things. She will not which is not a good feeling at all. Makes feel helpless as i am far from Her because W/we cant talk or She would have helped for sure. I can't talk with Her because Mistress is frustrated Herself and i might not get a good response like i called Her today to see how is She doing. She needs some time too and i am sure tommorrow is different day. I found Her upset and i was unable to make Her feel better. I even worsened the situation. :( It is breaking me now. Its frustrating me too and i am being impatient. I feel like I try but in the end, it does not matter at all. She is pleased and then She is not at all. It will never stay the same. In reality it wont but how good i am to manage and get back at my place in my submission and how patient my Mistress is with me is what matters.Let me say this for myself. W/we are one. i am Hers and i have faith in my submission and so does She. In these months, in Her love and service, i have learned that it is healthy for a submissive to feel fall short. It is not that i do not care or i would have not been even trying. Striving to do better is important. To do what and how She wants. It takes time but it can happen. I have pleased Her number of times and i can work to do better. She would see me striving and it will firm Her faith in me. I am sure my Mistress knows that so trying harder will help, like it has helped before. It is useless to whine and have poor me moments, curse myself. If i trust myself and believe in what i want and try for it, it will happen. That is what She has said always. So just thinking of stupid things wont help. This is a little exercise to get my focus back, to keep it on Her and the problems around U/us and ways to solve and to imporve my submission to Her. Its a just self help brainstorm. It is the best thing i can do right now: strive to do better.

To become the best and successful submissive to my loving Goddess:

Everyday:
1. Love Her
2. Cherish Her
3. Serve Her
4. Worship Her
5. Submit to Her
6. Obey Her
7. Bring Her happiness and comfort
8. Go out of Your way to do little things

Warning Signals:
1. Forgetting - [Keep a time planner to remember the events/appointments important to U/us]
2. Keep a cap on my temper, ego, anger [it rarely happens but dont know how, i am working on it]
3. Be careful of my tone [Doing my best]
4. Not forgetting my place [Going good yet]
5. Respecting Her loving Authority, Superiority and Dominance in all things in O/our unique relationship [Need to learn and realize it more]
6. Admit my mistakes and work to improve/offer suggestions
7. Act rather than say [damn i forgot that again]

These are small basic lists but all the important stuff. I have in my mind what i can do to accomplish specific tasks in list one. She did not experience nothing from "Everyday List" today. Yup, 1-2-3 warnings kind of happened tonight. She has all the reason to feel frustrated especially when i should be there at Her feet and i am not and other things upsetting Her. I hope She slept okay. ~sighs~ From tommorrow and on, i will make sure that at least two things happen from everyday list so that She "feels" (watches or experience) i am there, still in Her life, Her heart and at Her feet and as I make my way to be Hers forever. There is more to this week and i can do better and HEY !!!
I started to work ... it is something. When i am working i am thinking of Her. It is a way for submission to Her too. Its not where i want to be but at least a step towards my profession when i will be able to spare no effort and expanse to please my Mistress. To buy Her nice gifts as much as i want. Adorn Her with Her favourite fetish clothes, take Her to resturants so it is good that it happened this week. Lot lot more is to come :)))))
With a wishes of Her and Her spirit's happiness.

Far and bratty

2005-01-25T01:02:00.000-08:00

She left me with Her thoughts as usual when She left online. Firstly, it is the matter of just few days when i will give myself to a Her completely. She is my Mistress and my Goddess and will be for 24/7 for as long as She chooses. I know She will hold me, protect me as Her precious and keep me forever while i will learn, grow and nurture as Her sub, slave and lot more. Its exciting. It is strange that i am very much looking forward to it while others would feel nervous about such a commitment. It may be because i have always had a deep desire to be owned by a strong, responsible and loving dominant Woman. My luck had been kind on me and now i wear Her collar around my neck few days a week. She has choosen me as Her 24/7 live in slave. mmmm I am sure that life in Her loving Ownership will be amazing because W/we know a lot about eachother already, fell in love with eachOother for O/our unique personalities and lifesyle. It feels like a totally new and different adventure ahead and i very much wish to take it. Perhaps i am being over-excited but thats how i feel. I am looking forward to it. i have desired such a lifestyle always and now i will be in one. I am grateful to Mistress that She accepted my gift of submission and allowed me some place at Her feet, while many others like me and better are aching for it. I am honored and proud to be owned by such a wonderful Mistress. ~smiles~
Then ... yeah i know i was getting bratty in the end. Perhaps i was just taking advantage of being far and started to bug Her because i wont be later. She is funny ... ~grins~ but it was surely not a good time to mess around. i wonder if She joked about putting it on my punishment list or She was really serious. Call it testing my Mistress or whatever ... i have limited days with my Mistress online, i can do whatever i want. Otherwise, She likes me at Her feet while She talks to O/others, i may join in the conversations if She likes me to, i am doing my chores or doing Her hair, just anything else O/other than typing and sending messages to my Mistress. Trust me i enjoy it more than roleplays or trying to get the most out of mere words. i wonder what restrictions would be on me or the rules. i am doing a lot of thinking of Mistress's stuff ... lol but the funny thing is She knows what direction to steer me to and then mould me to Her pleasures to help me submit to my best ... i will be able to read Her moods and make the right choices unlike tonight. She is always firm and strict about my behaviour towards Her and She did not compromise on it even online. i was given clear directions of why and what is right behaviour. i could feel the change in Her tone even just in words online. It is not that i am not allowed to laugh with Her or joke with Her. It is about protocol, respect and dicipline which i will learn at Her feet. Real time and in flesh. i feel bad about my behaviour for that i oppologized to Her. i feel bad still and i hope She sleeps without any fears. Now i am much worried about Her too. i miss Her and wish and pray for Her health an safetly.

Panther_Girl

2005-01-23T00:18:00.000-08:00

Panther_Girl
Originally uploaded by kikas_spirit.

Saturday Eve

2005-01-22T22:51:00.000-08:00

I am just back from my Mistress's place. I am glad that i left Her happy and smiling sweetly the way She does. After noon and all eve W/we spent some great time together. I did not forget to kneel as i entered Her place and Her collar was put around my neck. After a week it was such a great feeling when my Mistress snuggled me close like Her arms around me in Her warmth like Her collar around my neck. I always love those moments. It is like She charges me up and i can feel the connection. Mistress told me that Her collar is symbol of Her love and commitment for each other and i offered my thanks to Her. Later, after feeding me I was allowed time at Her feet while She spent time online. W/we had a coffee together, browsed the interest, talked about websites, people, discussed things like what She thinks about Female Supremacists and chatted with a sub who wants my Mistress bad ... ~evil smirk~lol ...poor boy but he is far from that because She is concentrating on my training and keeping me only. wooo hooo
I was already horny by being under Her sexy feet while kneeling at Her side. Touching, kissing and playing with Her legs and belly: as far as my lips could reach and Mistress showed me some new D/s movies She downloaded from bearshare...mmmmm...She offered me Her hand most lovingly while i followed Her to Her bedroom and i was pushed on Her bed. I knew She is the mood of using me. I was ordered to get naked and wait for Her. Today was my Judgement day. ~bites his lips~ For a moment i thought perhaps She is just joking but Her tone was enough to tell that She is not. Mistress left while i was hurried to pull out of my clothes. I thought of the long list She had kept for sometime for all my transgressions that need Her special attention to dicipline me. Today was the day and I knelt nacked on Her bed awaiting Her. Mistress entered after a moment with something in hand that i could not see as She was holing it behind Her back. She said, "Do You know the punishment position I trained You with?" i could feel the shivers go through my spine. I answered quickly "Yes Mistress" and my body was already half in the position. I knelt mindlessly at the wrong side of the bed and later realized that She wants my bum facing Her which was i trouble now for sure. My head pressed to Her soft pillow, back arched to keep my ass up as much as possible, i could feel my heart throbbing in my chest. Mistress explained why and how I was being punished for. I had been late three times and i kept Her waiting. Mistress hates to wait especially from me, Her sub who is so special to Her. I have worked on it and i think i can do much better now but Mistress felt that such offence needed to be taken care of. Mistress chose three blows on each cheek when i knelt helplessly at Her command. Mistress rubbed my bum with Her gentle touch making the skin of my bottom ready to be punished. I could hear my moans. She allows me to make sounds and speak freely or i would be gagged if She would prefer me to be silent. It is good because under such attention by Her, i do not think so i would be able to control my whimpers and moans. Then a wooden paddle rubbed on my bottom and i knew it was coming. It felt good but not for long when it kissed my skin with sound. I felt the pain rushing through my spine as i felt it for the first time. I was painful and then i felt it again rubbing gently and softly on my skin making it ready to take more .. i do not remember what cheek, it would have been hard for me to count. i groaned when Mistress hit me with the paddle six times and hard .. i could feel it. First few times it felt good but more i was paddled with it i could feel my skin burning. I thanked in my heart that they were only six in total or after that it would have been a hard punishment. Mistress told me to break the position later and i crawled and hugged Her tight. For a moment, i forgot what i was being punished, my bum was burning and Mistress told me it is very red. I saw a new wooden paddle for the first time. aaaoooouch ... one of Her bamboo's buddy .. She told me, laughing, that She should name it a punishment paddle... ~grins~ That was only for me being late ... and She has tons of ideas to take care of rest of the punishments so it seems like only the beginning. As She shared, they were all mix of psycological, painful, humiliating and physical punishments. I liked the some of it this punishment. She thinks i have become a pain slut too ... lol ... as She had been training me with Her crop I can take a much more pain that i could took before. Damn ... its a long list for all the stuff i had been doing for last few months and i am not gona enjoy it ... thats the point of punishment but i thank Her that She is doing me only to mould me to perfection, the way She likes me and sees me as Her loving slave. Because She cares and loves me and i thanked Her for Her attention. I learned to be punctual already. She helped me to realize that sometimes i make unrealistic promises because i want to please Her so bad. I learned to always be at the place where She expects me 15 minutes early. It helped and i am sure it will in the future. My burning skin reminded me of the times i made Her wait so today's punishment re-registered the idea. I took it like a man for displeasing my lady and it is crossed off the list.
Later while being snuggled Mistress offered me that there can be ways to take multiple things off my list. Like to sleep at the foot of Her bed chained for the whole night, bound to the corner, or chained in the corner of made to kneel and allowed to leave the room only for the pee breaks or even just allowing You use the bucket ... ooo .. i could feel my control taken away and this is usually when i start resisting. She takes my whinning quiet seriously so i think many times before saying no or make excuses but instead i told Her that i can hide the list ... lol ... i was topping from bottom and Mistress checked me right there...lol.. it is amazing how She is aware now when i would start to find ways to not let go of control and resist my submission unintentionally especially when it is something i want avoid. This is especially true in the case of punishments. She gave me the choices to choose my punishment so i have still some room to save my butt ... lol ...but i was quiet impressed by Her ideas that would help learn my lessons well. ~grins~ Mistress is spending too much time on internet and reading.
W/we played later ... mmm She queened me and i learned to suck and lick Her while She had Her clit right on my face. It is quiet uncomfortable position but with practice and communication i can learn to do better. i can explore my vulnerability and helpness in the safe hands of my Owner in the position and She enjoys Her place there too. I would really like to Her cum while She queens me one day. I am sure its not far :))))))
Later W/we watched catwoman .. ~swish~ yup .. thats how my Lady does it with Her whip too ... mmm .. i liked the movie.The outfit was fabulous. Animation was good and Helly Berry did a very good job. So did, one of the relative of our beloved jazzy. i call my Mistress sometimes a Panther Girl. Yes! it has to do a bit with Gor because if She would have been at Gor. She would have been a panther for sure and i would submit to Her only with honor and pride.
Today had been a wonderful day. I hope, wish and pray that there are many more such days to come. i love my Mistress deeply and i submit to Her with all my heart. I learn and feel to do more everyday. Thanks Mistress for owning me.

Yours,
{spirit}Kika

In a Week

2005-01-18T02:11:00.000-08:00

I have been away from my blog for sometime and a lot has happened between U/us. I am put back to my place. The issue is resolved and Mistress is pleased with me yet. In addition to this, W/we are more closer in O/our relationship and taking O/our roles happily. Then Soon I am moving to Her place as W/we have planned and i am getting ready for it.
I am all excited for being with my Mistress as Her lover, sub, slave and the one who worships Her only. It will be the time when She will feel the complete control over me and W/we will be able to explore each O/other in the lifestyle and all other ways. Soon.... but this is what happened last week.
I oppologized to Mistress for breaking Her trust. She took me to the dinner and W/we talked and discussed all about the situation. It was a mistake at my part and i admitted it. It was about miscommunication but i am glad it is resolved now and i am out of trouble. Well not all of me ... my butt is gona be still as She said the punishment is still due. She is happy and pleased that I am working on it which is comforting.
I tried my ass out to be on time all week. Be punctual. Go over each rule on the daily basis. One by one and day to day. Keeping it simple. Just simple things like letting Her know when I can not see Her. Be on time at least 15 minutes before She reaches our meeting spot and wait. Opening doors for Her whenever possible. Show the deep respect and submission i have for Her in my heart and the hardest one. Abstain from the orgasms, masterbation and playing with my thing in Her absense. It was hard but the happiness of submitting to Her this way is wonderful. I was rewarded by two cums by Her own hands ..mmm.. and more and there is nothing like it when You wait for it and earn it. :))) Mistress was very pleased ... yay!! I am sure that i will be easier when i will move with Her. It has been. I know. ~mmmms all excited~
Lot happened in last few days. Leah's cake and then we spend sometime with others friends and attended the vancouver sex show. It was really fun. My favourite part was the Sincity. I could feel tingles in my body with my Mistress in the dungeon kind of space and mmmmmmmmmm the throne in the enterance of show is my favourite. Gosh !! my Mistress sat on it for a moment just to check it out while talking with the sales lady. I was checking my Lady out and how wonderful She looked there. It was hard to stop myself to go and kneel at Her feel while She sit on that throne. It was just beautiful and i wish if i could buy it. It would have been a perfect gift. I would be in our house one day. Something similar for my Mistress. W/we have little throne but right now jazz keeps it ... hehe .. so W/we really need a good one but that serves the purpose too. I love Her when i watch Her sitting there with all Her grace. She deserves a throne.
Mistress bought a viberator for U/us. It is quiet funny when it moves in circles. While eating with others devils at one of the resturant in downtown vancouver, we laughed talking about it that how "buddy" can helps us get the attention of waitress did not seem to come back for furture orders at all. It looks funny but i am sure it feels diffent. mmm. I look forward to using that on my Mistress soon when She feels like being worshipped again. Damn W/we ran out of batteries ... but She used my cock ... wooo hooo ... thats not bad.
W/we had a detailed discussion on Female dominance/male submission and Gor. I always pull up the idea of Gor perhaps because i have been attached to it for so long. I learned a bit from it which i will mention some time but mostly it is a lot of bullshit going on online. Slaves are abused in the name of Gor and i agreed to what Mistress thought about Gor. While W/we discussed i noticed Her ideas and thoughts close to Female Supremacists as i have read but a realistic one. I have been interested in those ideas and been reading about it for so long. I must admit that it has been my fantasy but it can be practiced realtime too and W/we practice it realtime even. There is lot to learn about Femdom and male submission and now i believe W/we have lot of days,months and years to be and live what W/we are.
I am in love with my Mistress more than yesterday today and it is growing everyday. I wish and pray for Her health and safety and may i submit to Her whims easy and to my best.

Miss You

2005-01-11T06:15:00.000-08:00

i missing Her bad. It has been 2 hours since i have been up and have been thinking of Her constantly. Not to mention that i played with my pee-pee but not as bad as before. I tried hard to put focus on O/other things, doing maths and stuff and on the fact that it is Her desire to have control on my thing when i can. I have to agree that i am Her very horny boy (as She says) i must admit that i love this orgasm denial thing too and that i am doing that for Her. Such thoughts always help me to keep my hands to myself or on the keyboard like right now. So it is working.
I recieved Her long email today, written with so much care and love that i could feel white reading it. The care She puts in moulding me and mentoring me is just amazing and that is one of great qualities of wonderful Mistress. I am not just Her playtoy but a person in Her life She cherishes, loves and owns like percious. It is a great feeling and it takes much of my worries away when a lot is going on with my life and career and i am going through huge changes. I appreciate Her presence in such times and i am happy that She is there to keep and eye on me and show me the way that leads to reality of my dreams.
Recently, W/we shared O/our limits and W/we are talking and exploring them more until She will set them finally. I am awaiting Her decision. I have also noticed that Mistress is taking Her position in O/our relationship quiet well now though i have been a bit brat last few days because of Her leniency with me.
Do i really take advantage of Her love ? In last few days. Yes ! and i forgot my place and i suffered later by feeling aweful for change of tone in my voice for speaking Her, being careless and unattentive. Her disappointment was much of punishment but i will be diciplined later for it as told.
There are number of things I am working on and i need to work. She pointed that out and She trusts me that i can. I wish to move back with Her as soon as possible so that i do not loose my focus of what is expected. Being away from Her is badly affecting my training.
I am missing Her bad right now. Again and i do think of Her many times a day. I could have been in Her arms to snuggle Her tight right now and hide in Her warmth. Her necklace is around me at all times to remind me of my submission to Her and my place. There is nothing like being Owned by a beautiful and loving Dominant Woman at heart. Thats my Goddess and i am a lucky one.